*Gulp*

"NOBODY 

else gets to decide whether or not we get married. It'll be 

OUR 

decision."

-le Boyfriend. 

howdafuqqqqdoireacttothis?? hamaiigaddd 

$%^&*%^#^##$&$%^die. 

Rewind that Cassette.

Here's my list of awesome musicians kids today and in the future will not be able to appreciate. Well, at least not as much as I did when I was growing up. Unless they have super cool parents or big sisters like me. Teehehehee.

Radiohead

Dave Matthews Band

Oasis

Savage Garden

Alanis Morissette

Bon Jovi

Eagle Eye Cherry

Garbage

Hole

Weezer

Lenny Kravitz

Rod Stewart

The Smashing Pumpkins

Pearl Jam

Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Third Eye Blind

U2

The Wallflowers

I'm sure there are hundreds more musicians where that came from but for now, these are the ones I miss. They're not necessarily my favourites, but I chose them because I remember having at least one song of theirs stuck in my head when I was a youngin'. This was waaayyyyyy before MTV or iTunes or radio conglomerates had any say in matters of music. Some of them still make music, but it's not the same. Back then, they made music for the fun of it...now it's all about selling albums and concert tickets.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with loving Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift...I listen to them too. 

But kids, you sure missed some gooooood times from way back when. Ah well.. 

Again, this is MY list. Haters, be gone.

Close your eyes. Make a wish.

"Do you smoke? Oh...SKL...nice! Where did you get that?"

Okay fine, I can't remember exactly how it went but it went something like that and those were my first words to you. I bet you thought I was a tooootal loser, kan? kannnn? Hahahahh. Whatever! I don't regret it one bit because if it wasn't for that stupid line, I never would have met you.

Baby girl, I would be lying if I said we fell in love at first sight because that DID NOT happen. We hit a few major bumps along the way but alas, I think we're doing preeeetttyy well, huh?

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being a part of us. Cuz we're two rocking bitches and ain't nobody can deny that! Come storms, tsunamis, evil boyfriends or crazy fucked-up attention whores.

Here's to your 24th Birthday and I am sooo looking forward to 24 gazillion more birthdays with you.

Happy Birthday, love!

P/S: Even Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a love like this even if he tried his damnest! Fo' shizzle! 

...and the Gravy Thickens.

ANONYMOUS SAID...

All my life, I've been trying to avoid conflict and make as many friends as I can
However, there are always people who keep messing around with my feeling for no concrete reason
So, I just identify these kinda people and determine whether they're worth it to be nice to or not
If they're worth because for instance they're my boss and I have to suck up to get a raise, I will try my best to endure
But if they're nothing to me, I just remove them from my list of friends
Isolate them
They're better off with their own miserable and pathetic kind
They don't deserve my anger
They don't deserve my frustration
They deserve nothing

The view must be awesome from that unbelievably high horse of yours. Not only are you presumptuous but you are bluntly admitting that you are only nice to people when there's something in it for you. If the relationship doesn't benefit you in some tangible way, you leave. Absolutely amazing. 

I love it when people take the initiative to buy their own shovels, direct themselves to a nice, flat area, start digging, jump into the hole and cover themselves up. All I have to do is pat the dirt down. I absolutely love it! 

I don't know if Mizz Anonymous is you but it suuurreee sounds like you. I'm going to assume it's you. I might be wrong but who the hell cares as long as I get my point across. So, let me get this straight, when you were coming to our place in Melaka, lepaking here and there acting like you belong, you were actually ENDURING us? Mayyybe because there was, ooh I don't know...free Internet connection, TV and rides to campus? Was that it? Homaigoddd, the picture is ever so clear now. I wonder how many horrible people you're sucking up to right this very second? Your flatmates? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your boss? Your fiancée? Hmmm...'tis indeed very interesting. I'm sure you're trying your very best to endure them. If, heaven forbid, they are suddenly of no value to you anymore and they're worth turns to nothing, you'll just isolate them. Easy-peasy. 

You, my dear, are incapable of basic human emotions. You are incapable of unconditional love. You are incapable of friendship or being in a relationship with someone just because you want them around you, not because they are only able to make life easier for you. You are incapable of letting yourself go to be able to enjoy the company you have around you. Everything that has to do with you is a ticking time bomb. You wait for them to screw up so you can leave and move on with YOUR life. You don't care that it takes two to make something last. You just sit idly by and let the other person do all the work while you reap the never-ending fruits of their labour. This is who you are. 

My question is, why pretend to begin with? Why bring all these "worthless" people into your life just to throw them out whenever YOU decide they're worthless? WHY PLAY GOD?

Hun, life isn't facebook. Living your life based on the principle of adding and then removing friends from your "list" is just plain sad and fucked up. Even by your standards, I must say. 

Finally, about the last part of your comment. The "they deserve nothing" part? I'd have to disagree with you. The way you're responding sure makes it seem like you feel that I deserve your anger at the very least. True? I'm so honoured. Bliss. 

Swallow This Pill.

Oyhhh...haven't been checking my blog as often as I should! (Bad girl! *Spank!*) I have GOOD reasons, though! Firstly, my laptop was being a bitch and a half, lagging here and there blablablabla so I asked le Boyfriend to help me reformat it and he did! It's allll good now. Secondly....hmm...wait..no, scratch that-- that's the only reason I could come up with. Lulz.

Hokkayyh, now on to some serious shit business I'm-not-kidding-this-is-serious-shizzz-that-everyone-should-pay-attention-to-seriously. Seriously................seriously. Got your attention?

So...remember that angry lil' post I wrote about the pretentious-bitch-snob-thinks-she's-better-than-everybody-bitch-queen? Yeah, this one. Well, imagine my (fake)surprise when, lo and behold, anonymous people with no names and no faces started to comment on the post. Hantar kutu, sialllll... Damn son!! Bitch called for re-enforcements! How do I know they're her kutus? Well, the comments were posted on the same day and are only 7 minutes apart. HOLY HELL!! Okay, anyways...here's the first comment:

Anonymous said...

Aku xpandai English tapi bile ak bace ko tulis pasal org ni, ko patot seday klo ko tuh bnyk flaws, try la improve rather than ko kutuk org xabes2....baik ko betoklan diri sendiri klu ko taw ko ade masalah....ni ko tulis blog cm org saiko la....klu ko improve diri ko ade gak pahala....tp ko dok ckp psl org,dpt dosa je.....xde pekdah pon.....

Other than your inherent lack of spell-checking skills, your vocab is actually fairly advanced for someone who claims that he/she does not know English. That's okay, I'll humour you for fuck's sake. Tak pandai English ye? Meh sini aku sekolahkan baekkk punya. Tolong tunjukkan dalam post berkenaan, kat mane yang aku cakap aku takde flaws? Rasanya macam dah senaraikan dengan banyaknye kat situ. Tak nampak? Hah, gi cuci mata, baca sekali lagi. Senang. Kedua, kat mane plak aku cakap aku taknak betulkan diri? The point of the post is to tell this person that it is okay to have flaws. No one will penalise you for it. No one demands perfection. When you're friends with someone, that's what you do. You handle the imperfections because you love them for who they are. Not for who they're trying to be. FRIENDS do not punish friends for having flaws. That's the point! Sorry ah, kene gak campur English sket. I get my point across faster that way. Can't say that you are able to digest them at the same speed, though.


Next, kau cakap aku tulis blog macam psycho? Kau tanye balik kawan kau tu soalan-soalan berikut ni. Berapa ramai kawan dia yang dia dah buat macam ni? Berapa ramai kawan-kawan dia yang dah pun dia buangkan macam tu saje? Takan SEMUA orang salah and dia sorang betul? Kalau macam tu dah kira ohhsommmee super-saiya la kawan kau tu. Dulu masa dia buat kat orang, aku diam je, ikut turut.Ye la, sebab kawan kan, ape yang kawan buat semua betul, orang lain yang salah. Aku dah kenal dia ni lama. Almost 6 years. Orang cakap pasal dia itu, ini...aku diamkan je. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Bila dia mengata kawan-kawan aku yang lain, aku simpan. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Tapi bila kena kat kepala sendiri, mau tau la rasa dia macam mane. Sakit. FAHAM? It. Fucking. Hurts. Sape psycho sekarang? Sila jawab.

Satu lagi-- My dosa/pahala is not your fucking problem. Period. 

Second comment:


I just dont understand what is your problem with this person that you are talking about....where it all started is not specified in this post....you should have specified where it all started so that all your loyal followers can really follow you on this wonderful ride about this person that you hate....

Haa....yang ni pandai English plak. Beraneka sungguh kutu-kutu beliau.

Before I respond. Nice touch adding the "loyal followers" bit. I LOLed my ass off. You funny!


I once read somewhere that "extreme hatred can only stem from extreme affection". Can't really remember where I read that. There's a good chance I made it up.


Okay, here's what happened. I'm gonna try my very best to make this short but I don't think it's gonna work. --- She says things that are so mean about people that I just can't stand being around her anymore. All she does all day is complain about everything! Her job, people around her, her bosses, her colleagues and even the people she lives with. Yes, you people who live with her. Yeah, see...no one else knows that because she tells ME these things. And what do I do? I listen and keep quiet. Well, my momma always told me that if someone can tell you bad things about other people, they're probably saying equally bad things about you..and momma was right.


We were going to move in together. She chose the house. She said she wanted to stay together because it would "feel nice to stay with friends" and that "she wanted a better apartment". I wanted to include a colleague in the mix because she was also looking for a place to stay. Let's call said colleague "Bella" (whhaaat? it IS Twilight season isn't it?). So, as I was saying, Bella was looking for a place to stay so I suggested that we all move in together. The first thing she asked me was "What race is Bella?" I didn't really think race meant anything but I answered her anyways. After I told her Bella was of a specific race, she said..and I quote "Hmm..I macam tak suke sgt duduk ngan **********. Diorang macam pengotor." I should've seen the signs then, but I ignored them. (Forget about counting the stars and trying to guess the race, aku sengaja kasi panjang, teehehehehh)


As fate wanted it, she didn't move in with Bella and I because she had some financial constraints she needed to deal with. That's fine. So, here we were, the three of us working in the same office, sharing the same jokes, dealing with the same shit every day. Together. Or so I thought. Then she decided that she didn't like me anymore and wanted to cut me out of the picture. So began the lying and sneaking around. The going out to dinner together without telling me and then when it slipped one day, she did a shoddy job of trying to hide it, but it was too late. I guess I could choose to proudly claim that I couldn't care less that they didn't invite me to dinner and make myself sound oh-so strong and independent but I would be lying. YOU try feeling what I felt that day. Ostracised like a pariah. Boxed out of a group you thought were your friends. I decided that that was the last straw. I'm not going to put myself through this shit because I was not about to beg for friendship from someone who didn't want me as a friend. I ended it-- on my terms. Granted, it turned out pretty ugly but I'm kinda glad it happened. So YOU tell me how am I supposed to feel after all that.


You might be asking why am I not punishing Bella as well? Weren't they in it together? Well, the reason is simple. When you've grown to care for someone over the course of a few years, the sadness and the anger is multiplied and directly proportionate. That's why. I've known her longer, so I expected more from her. So now, I want you to tell me something-- would you want to be around this person?


I don't have many friends. The awesome friends that I do have and trust can certainly attest to that. So when I do make friends, I invest my time, energy and feelings into them. Probably more than I should. It has burned me a few times in the past, but I guess I'm never going to learn. I have so much love to give and not everyone deserves it. I just can't seem to identify the people who don't deserve them, until some fucked up shit like this slaps me in the face.

Maybe I am the one who's wrong in this situation. Maybe I did do something to deserve the way she treated me. However, it is mighty pretentious and ignorant of her to claim to be holier than thou throughout all this, ain't it?

24 Candles.

I

AM

24.

Ahh well, another birthday has come and gone and as of the 16th of October, I am now 24. I know I'm not old enough to say "I feel sooo old" but... I feel soooo old! Hahahah. 

It was, by far, the best birthday ever! 

For the first time ever, I got to celebrate it with my now-27-year-old boyfriend, whose birthday was just two days before mine! Nggeeeee! 

FRIDAY 14/10/2011

....and so, the weekend starts.
We did his birthday in Chilli's BSC.

The Byous came to spice things up!
Syed and Sheril ;)

They just HAD to get us pressies. hehehe. 

My jaw dropped.... So you know it was an awesome gift.

His and her mugs!!!! With our picture on it!!!! Teeheheee ;)

The Bros

The Chicas

Next up, Movida, yo!

I was suuuuperrr sleepy. Checkout my eyes.

SATURDAY 15/10/2011

On the eve of my birthday, I went out again but this time it was with the girls. Mas, Aimi and Kak D (or so I thought). Aimi's birthday is also in October so we did the whole double birthday thingy in Las Carretas. Mas had to pull the whole surprise thing again (like she did last year) and invited some people without telling me! Azim, Pami and Addy came too! So we ate, unwrapped presents and ate some more!

Girls!

Addy!

Azim and Pami, who by the way, are GETTING MARRIED!!!!
Congratufuckinglationss!!

Mas and Azim.

Another birthday surprise from Mas.
On top of the handbag, she HAD to get me this, too. Iskk.
Awesome friend is awesome, hokkaayy?

And then Addy did something naughty and made me cry. :(

I calmed down enough so Mas could snap this picture.
I LOVE the present, Addy! Thanks for bringing Noel to the party ;)

I miss you idiots.

Aimi couldn't stop laughing when she found out what was in the bag.
Soooo cute! Hahaha. Use them well, love!

Then, they put sombreros (or something laiddat) on our heads and sang to us!

Our souvenirs, which we had to sing for; in friggin' SPANISH! 

Thank you my loves!!

SUNDAY 16/10/2011

The celebrations didn't end there. On my birthday, le Boyfriend brought me to a Brazilian Barbecue Buffet. Yes, it does sound awesome, and it WAS awesome. We didn't take any pictures because we were too damn busy chowing down all the meat in the world. You name it, chicken, beef, lamb, fish, sausages, chicken ham blablablablaaaa...I was a balloon by the time I took my last bite. Seriously, BEST. MEAL. EVER!!! Thank you, baby! 

Oh and I got to lepak with Mas and Ridhwan!!! We spent a good 2-3 hours bitching, gossiping, drooling over the hawt Ikea guy (constantly asking him to help us find things baaahahahah) and to wrap it all up, we saw a snatch thief getting caught and beaten up in the middle of the road. Awesome, ayy?

Finally on Monday, the good people in my office had a mini celebration thingy and they bought me a cake ;) teeehehee...

A birthday fit for a Queen? Well I think so! :)

Then and Now.

Just so everyone's clear on the subject...

Then...

WOMAN

Now...

BIMBO

Then...

MAN 

Now...

DOUCHE 

What

 the 

fuck 

happened? 

Wrap it up to go, Please!

So let's talk about something we all know and love....

Plastic bags.

That's right! Everyone looveeesss plastic bags. Especially us, Malaysians! Every single thing, every single day, every single task -- keep 'em plastic bags in handy! and come on, we all know about what plastic bags do to the environment, but we don't care. Plastic bags are waaaayy too cool to give up.

So what's that 'No Plastic Bag Day' thing again? Right, every Saturday, big mega stores don't give away plastic bags for free. You gotta pay 20 sen a pop if you wanna take your groceries home. What's the other option? Yes, pay triple/quadruple/quintuple the amount for ONE eco-friendly bag. So, let's say you need 5 plastic bags, that's only a buck. ONE eco bag costs 4 bucks (maybe). People would rather spend on plastic bags, don't you think so?

What's this all about then? Saving the environment? Not being so serious about it now, are we? You see, plastic bags are cheaper to make, easier to ship around the country and easier to distribute. They are also non-biodegradable which means they're pretty much here, forever. Plus, they can suffocate young children.

So, instead of stopping the use of plastic bags altogether, big mega hyper supermarkets tell you this: Oh yes, we're all for saving the environment, that's why we have the No Plastic Bag Day every Saturday and we charge 20 sen for people who insist on using plastic bags on Saturday. We also have these super cute eco bags you can buy and keep for the next time you go shopping. They cost a little bit more but it's a once in a lifetime investment.

Now, what they don't tell you is this: They don't want you to buy eco bags because then you will stop using plastic bags. Then, the big giant plastic bag factory goes out of business. That's not good because then the big giant factories that sell the chemicals to make plastic bags would go out of business. Aaanndd what do you need to make plastic bags? That's right, good old petroleum. Get the picture? Fun fact: Since 2009, these mega companies have collected about a million bucks from the sale of plastic bags every Saturday. Icing on the cake isn't it? Not only do they continue to use plastic bags, they now get money from it. Awesome.

No, I'm not gonna end this post with some profound statement on why we should all stop using plastic bags and stick it to the man. You're all adults capable of logical and mature thought. You decide.


Food for thought: Has ANYONE ever thought of using paper bags? Just saying...

Fine.

My blog has seen a lot of my bitchy days. Yes, I constantly find reasons to hate people and coincidentally, people constantly find reasons to hate me too. I never think of the reasons why...hating is just too much fun ;) I'm not saying it's constructive, nor is it good for the soul -- it's just fun.

The thing is, I hate confrontation. I really do..but I can't seem to stop these fingers of mine from ranting endlessly on Facebook. I really think that's one of my silly weaknesses. But then the question arises, how come these people, or this person in question, always knows that I'm talking about them? I NEVER mention names and I NEVER point to specific events. I guess if it applies, then you know it lah kan? So, this is clearly a case of "Siapa gigit cili, dia rasa pedas."  ain't it? Oh don't get me wrong, I read their statuses too, and I kinda taste the pedas a bit. Don't worry baby, I always got milk handy.

So...since you might be cracking your head about the reasons why...here's why.

1. I know how this started...people always say "Oh..I don't even know how this whole thing started." Nope. Not me. I know exactly how this started. Therefore, I can't forgive because I can't exactly forget just yet, can I?

2. This person continues to annoy me to core by being a pretentious snob and thinking that the world revolves around them. They forget where they come from and they make life a living hell for anyone who comes too close. They don't know meaning of class and decorum and they constantly embarrass themselves and you for being around them.

3. They speak before running their thoughts through a filter first. Orang tua-tua cakap, mulut takde insurans. I mean, seriously, think before you speak, yo! I don't deny that sometimes, smart things do come out of their mouth, but that's a very rare occasion. So, whenever it happens, I give them a standing ovation in my head, just to celebrate the moment.

4. They have their ups and downs. Sometimes, it's all hunky-dory and things are awesome between everyone. Then suddenly, they decide to snap and your whole day turns to shit. It's like they control the mood for the day. So, before anyone decides to feel happy, you better check with them first. They might have a crappy day planned ahead for you. If you feel like being a party crapper, then don't come to the party. Just STFU.

5. They feel like the top of the world and easily get intimidated if someone else is doing better. This annoys me the most. Understand that everyone is built differently. I have things that I'm awesome at, SO DO YOU! I'm fat, you're not. Isn't that enough?

6. All they do, all day, is complain. Complain. Complain. Complain. Like they have NOTHING to be thankful for. Seriously? I can count your blessings for you if you can't count that high.

So...you think I talk shit about you behind your back? YES. I most certainly do. So do you. How does that make you and I any different?

Hi. My name is Nor Aafina bt. Mohd. Zamil. I was born in Johor Bahru but I grew up in Sungai Petani, Kedah where I spent the most amazing childhood with my Mum and Dad, two baby sisters and a baby brother. I'm the eldest so I basically have to stand on my own two feet. My parents don't really work anymore so I can't depend on them as much because they still have three other children to worry about and two are still in school. I don't have a lot of money, I don't have a big family, I don't have a lot of friends. So when I say I'm struggling sometimes, I really am. I have things that I'm good at. I know I speak really well, I can write a kick-ass essay in 20 minutes, my grammar is awesome, I cook a mean meal and I can crap my way out of most of the fucked up situations I find myself in sometimes, amongst other things. On the other hand, I know I suck at a lot of things. I like to correct people when they say something I know to be wrong. I can be headstrong many a times, I suck at keeping my room neat and tidy, I am shit at saving money and I eat waaayy too much for my own good. I don't have an awesome voice but I sing anyways. I'm not always a good daughter/sister/girlfriend/friend but I try to be, maybe not as often as I should.

See, the difference is, I know who I am and where I come from. Do you?

Your move.


P/S: Hatred is such a strong word. I'd like to think of it as "tough love". ;)

You're Stephanie and I'm Paulette.

RIP

14 Sept. 1983 - 23 July 2011

They're just...Gems.

As most of you know, I teach foreign students...mostly Middle Eastern students. The point of this post is to just let you guys in on all the FUN I experience with them...every. damn. day.

........

Me: Alright, where's yesterday's homework?

Ss*: Oh...okay, teacher. No problem, tomorrow, tomorrow.

........

Me: *handing them test papers*

Ss: What's this, teacher? You didn't teach me this. I don't know this.

Me: *explains, explains, explains*

Ss: Okay good. You write for me. Please?

........

Whenever I ask them to write something/do exercises...here are some of the more common excuses...

1. I went to Genting yesterday so I'm tired now. Let me sleep, please.

2. Teacher, I don't have a pen/paper.

3. I'm very dizzy today. I only slept for 2 hours last night.

4. Excuse me teacher, I need to smoke now. *runs out of the classroom*

5. *cellphone ringing* Teacher, this is a call from my country. I have to answer this.

6. No, no. No study today. Just talk. Talk with us, teacher.

There's a bucket-load of excuses I can't even remember anymore.

........

Me: Why are you wearing slippers?

Ss: Because Malaysia is hot./I don't have socks/I don't like wearing shoes.

........

Me: *explains, explains, teaching, teaching.. blablablabla*

Ss: Teacher, where to buy girls here?

........

So there, just some of the awesome daily conversations I have with them. Don't get me wrong, they're not ALL like that. The girls are awesome and there are some boys who are just sooo sweet. Lovee!

*Ss = student/students.

My Man.

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY.

In my eyes... you're SUPERMAN.

Whammy.

My boyfriend's recently started to go the gym and eating healthy. So, now he's lost a gazillion kilos and he's looking kinnnndaa awesome. Inevitably, the girls at his office are starting to notice. He's having fun telling me all the stories of girls flirting with him at the office.

Boyfriend : Yesterday, I had two offers.

Me : Offers for what??

Boyfriend : From girls la. You know...

Me : U-huh...and what did these girls say, exactly?

Boyfriend : Alaa, you know la. They noticed I lost weight and....blablabla (insert trumpet sound).

Me : Ahhh, nice. Yesterday, one of my students asked me to marry him.

Boyfriend : --

teeheeeeee.

I love you bontot!

Girls Just Wanna...

Girls are the awesome-est, most amazing creatures on Earth. We really are. The world comes to a stop when we bat our lashes, men fall to our feet with the snap of our fingers, hurricanes are named after us, we're powerful, we're strong, we're gorgeous and oh-so-sexy and..*brakes screeching*

Phewwhh! Okay, awesome overload. Anyways, most of the time when we get together, women have the ability to talk for hours and hours on end, I'd like to think it's one of our superpowers. Maybe we were born that way, maybe we learnt it from our mothers, maybe aliens programmed us to be that way.

Whatever the case is, by nature, girls just wanna talk and our men can't help but stare and mutter - "What the hell do you people talk about?" Well...not that it's any of your business but we, girls, have plenty to talk about.

1. The OTHER Bitches.

At the top of the list is none other than the other bitches. The ones whom we'd like to think are peering into our awesome little circle, wanting to be one of us. In short- the girls we hate. Be warned, once we've started on this topic, it might possibly take one of us passing out/hale storm/the apocalypse for the conversation to actually stop. The conversation can cover many areas including her boyfriend, her job, her hair, her boobs, her social life, her sex life, what she says on facebook, the words that come out of her mouth, the things we wish we could do to her and the things we wish would fall on her head. Important stuff, you see.

2. The Boyfriend ;)

Of course, what girl doesn't absolutely love to gush about her boyfriend whenever she's with her girlfriends. This conversation however, has many levels and varies according to how long you've known your girl pals for. For example, BFFs would talk about EVERYTHING when it comes to their boyfriends. I mean everything. Girls who haven't known each other for a long time just tend to talk about boring stuff. For some girls, it becomes sort of an unspoken competition. Her boyfriend has to be better than her friends' boyfriends. You know someone like that, don't you?

3. Sex

"Girls talk about everything; size, shape, left or right leaning orientation, length, resemblance to historical figures such as Winston Churchill."

- Lily Aldrin & Robin Scherbatsky (How I Met Your Mother)

I think the quote pretty much sums it all up. Yes, boys. We talk about everything. But not to everyone, we're not idiots. When it comes to talking about sex, we girls only kiss and tell to our best friends. But still, you don't have to worry that much. Most of the time, when a girl talks about her romp in the sack with her man, she plays him up just a tad so that her friends will say "ohhhmagadd, your boyfriend did that?? I wish mine would". So you're probably a porn star in her friends' eyes by now. Just sayin'...

4. Body Issues

When it comes to our bodies, girls are not afraid of talking about it with each other. Nothing is taboo. Weird spots appearing, marks, gaining/losing weight, zits, grey hair, losing hair, stinky feet etc. Most of all, we loooove talking about our periods. But why? It's the same thing every month! Exactly! We Never get bored of it. Every month, you call your best friend to tell her your cramps are killing you and how you're PMS-ing and can't stop eating chocolates and deep-fried foods. The best part is, she listens to you because in a few days, she's gonna call you and tell you the same thing.

5. Mommy/Daddy Issues.

We love this one too. Who else can you call after you've just had a fight with Mom/Dad. Talking about it with other girls just makes us feel soo much better. Plus, they don't just listen, the KNOW what you're talking about and they KNOW how you feel. It's just the best feeling ever.

6. Work Stuff.

This is a no-brainer. Venting about having to work overtime without extra pay, the boss who is fussy, the secretary who thinks she's all that, the bitchy co-worker, the horny co-worker..the list just doesn't end.

7. Hopes and Dreams.

This is quite a vast topic. Numerous smaller issues can fall under this heading. For example; our dream wedding, our dream house, interior decoration, the perfect man, children and children's names (ohh yes, Sir), vacations we might never take, expensive things we can never buy, robbing a bank...heheh. You get the picure.

8. Reality Checks.

This only happens with BFFs. You decide your best friend's boyfriend is a loser, so you tell her you know she can do better. You're not studying/working hard enough and you're falling behind so your best friend slaps you back to reality. That dress makes you look fat, she'll tell it to your face. Those shoes make your feet look horrid, she won't let you buy them. You're spending waaaayy too much on something, she'll tell you to buy it later. ;)

So basically, these are the things we talk about when we're yapping away on the phone, or totally ignoring the boys whenever we say we want to double date*. As you can clearly see, every time we open our mouths, we damn well mean serious business. Hell. Yeah.

S.M.

*Double dating is only an excuse for girls to get together while not making their boyfriends feel left out. Don't believe me? Next time you're on a double date, pay attention to who's doing all the talking ;)

Sex is in the Air.

I have lost any/all patience to be nice. So I'd like to say I'm sorry for this post because it WILL offend you.

So I'm guessing you've all heard about this new thing called the Obedient Wives' Club (OWC)? If you haven't, shame. Well, this religious group called Global Ikhwan Sdn. Bhd. (they can call it a company all they want, it's a bloody cult if you ask me) have set up a club to promote their belief that wives, who don't service their men well, are the "root of the problem" when it comes to men getting involved in crimes like prostitution, rape and human trafficking. So what they are proposing is; to have wives act like "first class prostitutes" and "whores in bed" every time their husbands get horny and needs a good fucking. This will then "help curb the problem" because "a sexually-satisfied man" won't commit crimes and will be a good husband at home. *APPLAUSE*!!!

BULL.SHIT.

This proposal is totally wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin. Well, let's start with the obvious, shall we?

1. Wife = Prostitute/Whore

I'm not a wife, yet. But I am a woman. I have a mother, sisters and girlfriends whom I love. Do you know what it does to my mind and heart, and not to mention sanity, every time I think about MY FATHER TREATING MY MOTHER LIKE A PROSTITUTE? The media isn't saying it, because they have to be politically correct. Well fortunately, I don't have to be. DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT PROSTITUTES HAVE TO DO? Oh that's right, they did say "first class". DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. The prostitution profession came into existence because:

Firstly, men who don't have wives wanted to get laid, so they figured; why not pay for it? and women figured, "I'm hot, I'm sexy and men want to pay me for sex, so why the hell not?"

Secondly, because a gazillion years ago, men decided they wanted to do freaky deaky stuff in the bedroom -- stuff they couldn't possibly imagine doing to their wives.

THAT IS WHY YOU PAY PROSTITUTES.

Because after you strip them off any dignity they have left, you leave a token of appreciation at the end of the night to make them think you were worth it. You don't even have to call in the morning to check on her. That's the deal. Fuck and Forget. Is that what you want women to be reduced to?

So their premise is basically saying that wives have to cater to their husbands' every beck and call, but to what limit? To illustrate my point--picture this, taking a dick up the ass. So, all you nice ladies in your tudungs and jubahs, if your husband wants you to take it up your ass, you'll let them because you're obedient? Last time I checked, that was HARAM. What about S&M stuff? Do you wanna get chained up, tied up, gagged and let your husband, the father of your children, whip your ass and while calling you names like "bitch", "whore", "slut", "cunt"? Oh, you'll do it because God forbid you get a husband who's a leather biter. Well, maybe you'd be fine with that as well, but what if that happens to your daughter? Imagine her soft, fair skin tainted with slashes and bruises all because she has to be obedient to her husband.

2. Blaming wives for errant husbands.

There was an article published in The Star -- a man beat his wife up using a pestle. That's right, a fucking lesung and the report said that it was because she refused to have lunch with him. The women from the OWC beg to differ, they claim that it was because he didn't get any the night before. So, after ALL THOSE YEARS of researching, preventing and protecting women from domestic abuse, the BRILLIANT, educated and oh-so-smart women at the OWC think they have a solution. Wives just need to fuck their husbands more so that they don't get beat up. Awesome. Easy, eh? So every counselling center/shelter for women should just have one simple tagline: No, it's not because YOU MARRIED AN ASSHOLE, it's because you're not putting out. Okay, honey? Now run along home to your husband and give him a good time.

I was never brought up in a family/society/culture that taught me women were beaten up because they were wrong. I've only ever seen that on TV, even that makes me want to puke. So now, ever so suddenly, these people are forcing upon us the fact that every time a wife gets hit on the head and bleeds on the floor in front of her children, it's her fault. Every time children get abused, punched, kicked and raped, let's blame the wife because she failed to spread her legs. Every time a mother loses her child to a brutal crime, wanting to know why, out of all the people on this Earth, why did her child have to be the one who dies? She doesn't have to look far for the reason, she can just blame the woman who couldn't manage to give her man a proper orgasm. That's why your baby died, because someone was horny. So all the while, we were punishing the wrong criminals? Is that it? All the while, what we needed was just to make sure that our men are happy in the sack? Then all our children will be safe? No more teenagers will be raped? No more kidnappings and killings? Awesome.

Where I stand: I do, ever so believe that sex is very important in marriage. We need to reproduce and we need to have a good time, win-win. However, pointing your finger to women needing to be more obedient to men so they won't commit crimes is just stupid. You claim to be educated and well-read but you don't really hear yourselves, do you? Furthermore, I don't think even Religion is a good enough excuse for this. I'm not so good with religion, but I do know that no religion condones treating women the way you have it in your minds.

Clearer picture? Read this: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/6/12/nation/8886422&sec=nation

I especially love the part where they try to explain how they know what prostitutes have to do. I haven't laughed so hard in days. I'd love to know what books she read as a teenager. Grrrr. You sassy minx, you!