Girls Just Wanna...

Girls are the awesome-est, most amazing creatures on Earth. We really are. The world comes to a stop when we bat our lashes, men fall to our feet with the snap of our fingers, hurricanes are named after us, we're powerful, we're strong, we're gorgeous and oh-so-sexy and..*brakes screeching*

Phewwhh! Okay, awesome overload. Anyways, most of the time when we get together, women have the ability to talk for hours and hours on end, I'd like to think it's one of our superpowers. Maybe we were born that way, maybe we learnt it from our mothers, maybe aliens programmed us to be that way.

Whatever the case is, by nature, girls just wanna talk and our men can't help but stare and mutter - "What the hell do you people talk about?" Well...not that it's any of your business but we, girls, have plenty to talk about.

1. The OTHER Bitches.

At the top of the list is none other than the other bitches. The ones whom we'd like to think are peering into our awesome little circle, wanting to be one of us. In short- the girls we hate. Be warned, once we've started on this topic, it might possibly take one of us passing out/hale storm/the apocalypse for the conversation to actually stop. The conversation can cover many areas including her boyfriend, her job, her hair, her boobs, her social life, her sex life, what she says on facebook, the words that come out of her mouth, the things we wish we could do to her and the things we wish would fall on her head. Important stuff, you see.

2. The Boyfriend ;)

Of course, what girl doesn't absolutely love to gush about her boyfriend whenever she's with her girlfriends. This conversation however, has many levels and varies according to how long you've known your girl pals for. For example, BFFs would talk about EVERYTHING when it comes to their boyfriends. I mean everything. Girls who haven't known each other for a long time just tend to talk about boring stuff. For some girls, it becomes sort of an unspoken competition. Her boyfriend has to be better than her friends' boyfriends. You know someone like that, don't you?

3. Sex

"Girls talk about everything; size, shape, left or right leaning orientation, length, resemblance to historical figures such as Winston Churchill."

- Lily Aldrin & Robin Scherbatsky (How I Met Your Mother)

I think the quote pretty much sums it all up. Yes, boys. We talk about everything. But not to everyone, we're not idiots. When it comes to talking about sex, we girls only kiss and tell to our best friends. But still, you don't have to worry that much. Most of the time, when a girl talks about her romp in the sack with her man, she plays him up just a tad so that her friends will say "ohhhmagadd, your boyfriend did that?? I wish mine would". So you're probably a porn star in her friends' eyes by now. Just sayin'...

4. Body Issues

When it comes to our bodies, girls are not afraid of talking about it with each other. Nothing is taboo. Weird spots appearing, marks, gaining/losing weight, zits, grey hair, losing hair, stinky feet etc. Most of all, we loooove talking about our periods. But why? It's the same thing every month! Exactly! We Never get bored of it. Every month, you call your best friend to tell her your cramps are killing you and how you're PMS-ing and can't stop eating chocolates and deep-fried foods. The best part is, she listens to you because in a few days, she's gonna call you and tell you the same thing.

5. Mommy/Daddy Issues.

We love this one too. Who else can you call after you've just had a fight with Mom/Dad. Talking about it with other girls just makes us feel soo much better. Plus, they don't just listen, the KNOW what you're talking about and they KNOW how you feel. It's just the best feeling ever.

6. Work Stuff.

This is a no-brainer. Venting about having to work overtime without extra pay, the boss who is fussy, the secretary who thinks she's all that, the bitchy co-worker, the horny co-worker..the list just doesn't end.

7. Hopes and Dreams.

This is quite a vast topic. Numerous smaller issues can fall under this heading. For example; our dream wedding, our dream house, interior decoration, the perfect man, children and children's names (ohh yes, Sir), vacations we might never take, expensive things we can never buy, robbing a bank...heheh. You get the picure.

8. Reality Checks.

This only happens with BFFs. You decide your best friend's boyfriend is a loser, so you tell her you know she can do better. You're not studying/working hard enough and you're falling behind so your best friend slaps you back to reality. That dress makes you look fat, she'll tell it to your face. Those shoes make your feet look horrid, she won't let you buy them. You're spending waaaayy too much on something, she'll tell you to buy it later. ;)

So basically, these are the things we talk about when we're yapping away on the phone, or totally ignoring the boys whenever we say we want to double date*. As you can clearly see, every time we open our mouths, we damn well mean serious business. Hell. Yeah.

S.M.

*Double dating is only an excuse for girls to get together while not making their boyfriends feel left out. Don't believe me? Next time you're on a double date, pay attention to who's doing all the talking ;)