Snort.Snort.

It was love at first sight, wasn't it?

You tried it once, and now you're hooked.

That soft "ding" you hear whenever you get a new notification. Ahh, music to the ears. A sight for sore eyes at the end of a long day...well, any day, really.

Face it, you're a Facebook addict.

However, some of us love it more than others do. Myself included. And this, gives me solid credibility and confidence to write this post. ;)

I dub thee, the Facebook Whores.

1. You enjoy reading every detail of a person in his/her profile. In the event that a person forgets or leaves any detail out on purpose, you make little comments in your head about how this person is an idiot for doing so. You literally hate him/her for neglecting to complete their profile.

2. You crack your head day and night, trying to find the right sentence/catch phrase/part of a song/quote/fun fact/horrible news/good news to write as your status in Facebook. If no one comments/likes the status, you change it to a cooler one. You keep on changing it until you get some sort of response.

3. If you're single, you live for the thrill of looking at a person's relationship status and,clicking on the name of his/her other half. Then you curse at the fact that his/her other half's profile and photos are private. Now, your finger is just itching to click on the "ADD AS FRIEND" button just so you can see what they talk about. oh, and also to stalk their lovey dovey photos. The best part is, if you're friends with them, there's the "See wall-to-wall" option.

4. If you're in a relationship, you stalk the pages of other people who are also in a relationship, just to see if they're are as annoyingly in love as you are with your other half. And then, you start to compare wall posts. The "See wall-to-wall" option comes in handy in this case, too. Next, you look at nauseating photos of other couples, just to make sure yours are more nauseating.

5. You stalk the pages of the people you normally can't stand in real life, i.e. your "Frienemies"... just to laugh at the things they say on Facebook. Especially their statuses.

6. You use Facebook to keep track of the Ex.

7. You have multiple accounts so you can add someone you hate, so you can carry out activity #5.

8. You change your relationship status to "married" or "widowed"...and you do it just for kicks so that people will ask you, "OMG, what? Explain!" The more people comment, the more popular you feel and out of the millions of people on Facebook, oddly, you feel special. Doinks.

9. Filling out the "About Me" section on the left side of you profile is a daunting task. Because let's face it, it has to be something cool, yo!

10. Your profile picture has.got.to.kick.ass! It can't just be a random photo one would put on Friendster or MySpace. THIS.IS.FACEBOOK. So, whenever you're out with friends, or with your significant other, you can't wait to get that perfect shot for your profile picture. Nay, you actually pose and tell yourself "oh yeah, this is gonna make a killer profile picture".

11. The first question you ask someone after meeting them for the first time, "Hey, give me your e-mail, I'll add you in Facebook". If that other person says he/she doesn't have a Facebook account, you look at them as if they've just spoken to you in Swahili.

....and last but not least...

12. It's torture if you don't get access to Facebook at least once a day and the thing that bothers you the most is that you're worried what your "followers" might think if you don't update your status. "OMG, they might think I don't care about them." Sheesssh.

Love me or hate me, Whores...but you know I'm right..

S.M.