Monday, June 21, 2010

A Friendly Reminder.

I love witnessing the spectacle of someone digging herself a grave. A grave so deep that it would take her forever to find her way back to the surface.

Yes, I am talking about you.

Honey, I get it, you're defending yourself. And no, it's most definitely not wrong. I'd do it too if I were in your position.

But you see, what you're doing is what our forefathers dubbed "menggali kubur sendiri". Get it? The more you talk/post something online, the deeper you dig and let's face it, you're in waaaayyy deeper than you can handle. With every word you say, every character you type, you're shaving away your dignity piece, by painful piece and as a fellow female, I cannot let you do this to yourself. Well, someone has to be the smart one here, clearly, it's not you.

Why am I saying this? Well, because no matter how big of an idiot you are, we girls still have to stick together. You know? So yes, I do wanna help you, really. Because sweetheart, here are a few things you did wrong;

1. Any sane person knows that the more you keep trying to convince people that you are not desperate, that's how much more desperate you look.

2. Claiming that you are confident, strong, beautiful and independent every single damn day on your posts, really does make you sound weak and pathetic.

3. You so proudly claim that you cannot be controlled by anyone other than the Almighty God Himself and yet, with every single blow from us mere mortals, you seem to have broken piece by piece of your sorry life. (Seriously? Blocking me from your Facebook account? Shheessshh. Last time I checked, I ain't God.)

4. Your English is atrocious.By that reason alone, please spare us the nightmare of having to correct your spelling and grammar in our heads. Even more so, stop humiliating yourself dear ENGLISH TEACHER. (BTW, there is no such thing as being too trustful. Just sayin'...)


The list can go on for hours and hours, but you see, I still mean it, I do wanna help you. I shall stop here.

I know your battle plan. Play the oh-so-vulnerable victim, and see who sympathises with you. Brilliant! Paint me to be the bitch, the slut who sleeps with any walking dick I find. Go ahead. But you see, all these things you say about me are, well, true. So kudos! You're killing me by telling everyone that I am exactly who I claim to be. Not so brilliant after all, huh? Honey, the difference between you and me, I don't mind paying my dues. Do you? I'm not the one harping about religion and God when in truth, I know I am a sinner. Do you? Was it not you who wanted a traditional man who wouldn't "touch" you before marriage when you've oh so clearly been touched. Touched again and again and again. So, do you really, really want to play this game with me? Careful, darling. You've covered yourself with gallons of gasoline and now you're planning to light a match. I am one fired up woman you do not want to mess with. Just a friendly tip.

So, do yourself a favour and stop talking. Stop retaliating. Stop pretending that you can actually win in this situation. You do not have the stuff it takes to actually be a bigger Bitch than I already am (a title which you so proudly bestowed upon me and I even more proudly accepted). So, please. I am letting you walk away from this unscathed, in one piece and with your dignity intact.


The Bitch,
S.M.

14 comments:

Ridhwan A. said...

Aafina Zamil, one word.

Touché!

This is by far the greatest, most fired-up comeback ever in the history of... well, the internet.

Wait, one more thing. Dignity? What dignity? I thought she lost it the first time she posted about 34 million reasons why men suck?

With that comment, I'll be officially blocked from her FB. I think.

LOL!

Jehan Soraya said...

Finz!

I wish I could 'Like (thumbs up)' this. ;)

And I can't help but guess who this person is (kepohnya walaupun taktau sapa)because I have been getting similar feeds on my Facebook as well. LOL.

Love it!

Jehan Soraya said...

Oh wait...will I be blocked as well?

I miss you Ridh!!

Ridhwan A. said...

@Jehan: I miss you! You're working right? Maybe next month, I will come down to KL and we meet up or something? Okay?

Oh honey, you're blocked the moment you clicked the link.

LOL!

bella muerte said...

Oh and apparently, I'm God too! I was having the time of my life being an anon and then, in a blink of an eye, no more anon comments. Boohooo! You suck.

Aaannnd, wall pun private! Perghhh we were having a partay laughing our asses off with your daily rubbish.

Habislah, nothing to laugh at nemore! Sighh...

So, yeah bitch. Don't for one second think you're smarter cos seriously, you are not even half way to being smart.

Poor little hyena. Oh how I'm gonna hate your stupid laugh in class next semester.

theblogaboutsomething said...

pew pew pew.. kaboom

Ridhwan A. said...

@Linda: 2 female Gods? How gay is that? Haha.

Stephanie Morris said...

Dear fellow bitches.
Let's just hope our dear friend gets the message. Kesian dia kan? Haih..

Oh yeah, and i just have to say this;
At the very least, people actually read my blog. Dangg!!!!

So, yeah. teeehehehe...

bella muerte said...

Ridh: Hahahah! Yea, we're gay like that, yo!

WV: wetta. Erk?

Noel St Augustine Meldan said...

Jesus?


I extremely liked the "touched" part, seriously? Gah,people and their sexuality these days.

Stephanie Morris said...

Nope, no Jesus here, Noel.

Just us mortals. Changing the world.

One blog blast at a time. ;)

Juliette said...

so freaking awesome stephanieee!

Zulfahmi said...

You really read my mind... The list is so true...

especially number one and two...

juajui said...

cant help but loving this.. post :)