Right now, I really wish you read blogs.

This. is.

BULLSHIT.

Why can't I just grab you by the shoulders and tell you to your face...?

That my knees get super weak and I break into a cold sweat every time I see you.

Or that I get goosebumps every time you touch me.

Or that I can't wait to talk to you again after every conversation we have.

That I ignore you every time you're online so that you think I'm not looking. When in truth, I check to see if you're online. And most of the time, you are.

Or that I purposely bring you up in conversations with my friends just so I can talk about how amazing you are.

Or that I hate pretending not to care when you say something really funny, or when you say something really smart or witty. When in truth, I wanna laugh my lungs out.

I hate pretending that I feel nothing. When in truth...

I think I love you.

Country Lovin'

This hunk of a man is further living proof (as if we need further proof) that married men are soooo irresistible. Aiyaiiyaiii...

Sexy, much?

I'd give up teaching for this, any day.

The man on the left is Lars Krutak, the one on the right is my Atuk. LOL. (no, he isn't)

You see, Lars is, get this, a Tattoo Anthropologist. Is that cool, or what?

He travels the world in search of traditional tribal tattoos and body scarification. He goes into tribes and places we've never even heard of. Amazing!

You might've seen his show, Tattoo Hunter, on the Discovery Channel. If you haven't, seriously, check it out!

Cool job, yo!

...and then came the sinful truth.

Please read the previous post before reading this...

That first culprit....yeah, that best friend. The one who grew up with me...

The one who married the ex...yeah, that one.

A formidable source (a mutual friend, who lived with the happy couple for almost a month) has informed me she has a bun in the oven. Quite far along, I might add. For those out of the loop, they've only been married for a week. Taaa daa! Partly the reason why she didn't hold a reception in Sungai Petani, the place she grew up in. Imagine this story spreading there. Oh no, we can't have that now, can we?

I know I'm being a total bitch or sound like a total sore loser for posting this...frankly speaking, I don't care! I deserve to. You've caused me enough suffering. I have closure now. Yes, I'm taking advantage of other people's misery. I'm stooping to her level, aren't I? *gasp*! Whatevs.

Have a good life, bitch!

You've made mine a whole lot better.

Kisses!

Seriously, is your life THAT boring?

Those close enough to me might already know what this post is about.

Someone once said ( I think it was my sister) it's not wrong that people should care about other people, that's what makes us a society... but there is such a thing as minding your own damn business.

I don't know what's so interesting in my life that people keep on barging in and make it a point to make it their business, or their life for that matter.

Twice this happened to me, TWICE.

The first culprit, well, I know who she is, quite intimately you can say. I grew up with her. Well, I guess I can console myself with the fact that she didn't bag such a priceless miracle from God as a result of it. Yeah, that's what my Mom and my friends say and that's what I tell myself every damn day.

The second idiot, however, I know nothing of. This person may be happy with the fact that he/she got what they wanted. Yes, I did get hurt. Yes, I cried and yes, I haven't fully recovered. Congratufuckinglations.

Dear bastard/whore,

I hate you.

kthanks.

I guess the thing that really bugs me is the fact that those two things that happened were not on my own accord. I didn't choose this. I didn't want this. You are, to me, a distorted image of a Genie in a bottle. You grant wishes, but you twist them to you're own pleasure. You want to be happy, you want to be satisfied and you don't care who gets hurt in the process.

But what I find surprising till this very day, is how fascinating you find my life to be. So interesting, in fact, that you would go out of your way to have a piece of the action. Oh wow, I should say I'm very flattered. Thank you for that realisation. But you know what? If you're so damn bored/lonely, you could've asked to be my friend, I'd probably say yes. Because this is probably what got me into this shit hole in the very first place, I trust people too soon, too easily. Silly me.

I kesian you. Seriously. If this is a form of entertainment you enjoy, I feel sorry for you. I really do. I really feel you might lack love/affection in your life. Who knows, you might have a father who hates you or is never around, or a mother who's sneaking out late at night to see her lover (whoops). Kalau dalam bahasa Ibunda, ni namanya orang yang kurang kasih sayang.

Tidak, saya lebih suka the term "kurang ajar". Kesian, mak bapak tak ajar ye? Haih...

For you, asswipe, I hope you don't have another life you plan to screw up. Because if you do, I have one thing to say. As a result of this twisted hobby of yours,

People get hurt. Good people.

Years and years of friendships are destroyed.

Trust and loyalty are lost.

If you read this, you might say.."OMG, look at her, she hasn't moved on, Hurraah!" Well, I hate to burst your bubble, I have moved on from the grief and the sadness and the regrets. But there is one thing I will not let go off. Ever.

I. Will. Hate. You. Forever.

My promise to you, if ever I find out who you are, I will make your life so painful you'll wish you've never met me. I will torture you, I will not rest until your dignity is in bits and pieces on the ground, under my feet.

I swear to God.

Percutian percuma, ada?

Kalau hari ni ditakdirkan hujan duit syiling 50 sen, aku turun padang dgn 2 bijik baldi.

Satu untuk tadah duit.

Satu lagi...cover kepala.

That's how broke I am.

Godemmmit!

First.

Remember when you first saw that someone? You felt the sudden need for a fresh spray of deodorant, all you wanted to do was go up to that person and say hello. And all you wanted in return, at the very least, was a smile. Even when that person wasn't smiling at you, your heart still fluttered. That smile was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

And then, the rest of the "firsts" followed..

You're first phone conversation...

The first date...

The first time you held hands, uggghh, remember how the hairs on the back of your neck stood up the minute your hands touched? Damn.

Ahh, the first kiss. A surge of excitement ran through you body. That taste, that smell, that feeling...it only happens once. Only the first time.

And then....the first time you said I Love You. And you really meant it. So did the other person. At that moment, you really did love each other. Because the hardest part is saying it for the very first time.

Yup, the first time is the only time that matters. Because after that, it becomes a routine, a must....

"Bye hun, I'm going to work, *smooch*, Love you!"

"Happy Birthday, baby...I love you. *kiss* "

"Good morning, love...*muuuaah*"

...nothing beats the first time.

Nothing.

I Definitely Know What You Did.

Sweatin' Muh Knickers Off!

So, unless you've been living in a refrigerator or been in a coma for the past few months, you'd already realise by now, it's pretty darn hot out there.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing summer in Malaysia. I'm talking hawt, hawt, hawt, sizzzllinn' weather! Wooossh! Panas kaw, aayy!

We are already feeling the pinch of the demon that is Global Warming, and we're not handling it so gracefully. With the heat soaring, what do we "smart" people do? We turn on the bloody air-conditioning. Smart, ay? Have we not been told over and over again that emissions from your faithful A/C causes temperatures out there to rise even more? ( I should know, I taught this crap in school). Not to mention our ever so prompt electricity bill. Damn.

So, how now brown cow? Stick to the fan? It just seems to circulate the hot air even more.

Walk around with less clothing? Not possible in school. I'd fail. Only works at home.

Bathe 20826532907 times a day? Kene bayar bil air pulak. Damn. Every which way, we're screwed.

Double damn.

If you're waiting for me to make my point, don't hold your breath. This really is a pointless post.

Oh btw, people! Earth Hour is nigh!!

Saturday, 27th March 2010. 8.30 pm.

Switch off those lights, yo!

60 minutes could save a cute, bouncy, cuddly baby polar bear. awww...

Love you sweaty bum-bums!

S.M