Everything needs Strategy.

So... I'm guessing (hoping) you've all heard of this little establishment...

If you haven't, well, it's okay...just stick to your nasi campur and warungs and stuff. (Yes offence)

They have all this raw food (chicken, beef, lamb, seafood, veggies) marinated in a million different ways and displayed as such...

and zen, when you've taken your pick...you grill/boil them yourself like this...

Genius ain't it?

...and before I forget, it's served as a buffet so once you've paid, free-flow baby.

I've been to buffets before but Seoul Garden is very much different. Ask anyone who's been there and they'll tell you the same thing.

The fact that you cook your own meal makes you forget how much you're really putting into that tummy of yours. Before you know it, you're bloated as a pumpkin. Trust me, been there. A friend of mine actually blew chunks after eating there. True story...

So, like I always say..there should always a strategy for everything you do and here are my strategies/tips for a meal at Seoul Garden. I dub thee, Death by Barbeque *shivers*

Pre-Death by Barbeque (DBB)

1. Plan ahead with your friends. DBB cannot be a spur of the moment thing.

2. Save up! Obviously you need moolah and DBB ain't cheap. Prices vary according to outlets. Do check before you go.

3. Book a table if you think there's gonna be a rush of people especially during weekends and currently, during buka puasa.

On the day of DBB

1. If you're having DBB for lunch, I suggest you skip breakfast but don't keep your tummy empty!! Drink Milo or have a light sandwich. You'll eat better if your tummy's not completely empty.

2. If you're having DBB for dinner, then have breakfast followed by a very verrryy light lunch. A salad/sandwich would be good. Remember, it's all about creating space. Loads and loads of space in your tummy.

3. Make sure you wear loose-fitting clothes and pants. Ladies, No tight shirts, and absolutely NO TIGHT JEANS. You're gonna end up busting your zipper at the table or worst, you might cut the blood circulation your brain because girlfriend, you are gonna bloat like no one's business. I'm dead serious.

During DBB

1. Pace yourself. You don't have to grill everything at once. It IS a buffet so you ARE allowed to take food more than once, ya'know? So chill, take your time.

2. You've paid for the food, so try everything once (unless you detest it or you're allergic to it).

3. Cook it well! Don't get impatient and start eating everything under-cooked. You're responsible for preparing your meal, so you're responsible for whether or not you get sick after eating it. Kapish?

4. ...aannd do not waste! Take what you need, if you've taken more, then try to finish it because Seoul Garden charges for wastage - RM5 for every 100gm wasted. Chingg!!

5. For smokers, do what I do, take ciggie breaks in the middle of your meal. It helps!! But don't pause for too long, because after 20 minutes your tummy will send signals to your brain telling your body that you're full. Then, the fun stops. :(

Post-DBB

1. If you're still standing, Hurrraahhhhh! The hardest part is over!

2. Walk slowly towards your car and head home. Shopping is not a good idea after DBB. Just. Head. HOME. Why didn't you shop before you ate, hmm?

3. Take a dump. I know, TMI. But, seriously. Take a dump.

4. Avoid Seoul Garden for at least another month or two if you know what's best for your body AND your wallet. ;))

Well, that about sums it all up. Good Luck!!!

Teehehee.

S.M.

They Rawk Each Other's Sawks Off!

So, this is my take on the Top 10 celebrity couples whom I think have hot, hot sex. Let's start from ze bottom, shall we?

TEN.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

I just recently watched "The Scarlet Letter" and yes, Demi was lookin' pretty awesome wayy back in 1995. Let's face it, she still looks hawt today and Ashton is Ashton, what more can I say? I'm bettin' these two make sweet, sweet romance in the sack ;))

NINE.

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian

In my opinion, this one's on Khloe. She openly talks about her sexual desires and what she's done in the bedroom. If you've watched episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you know what I mean. They can't keep their hands off of each other and are always touchy feely whether they realise it or not. So yeah, that's hot!

EIGHT.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi

Come on..they look like two people who like to get freaky deaky in the bedroom. Well, I think so.. Yumm.. :P

SEVEN.

Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Lee Simmons

My fav couple ;) how can they not be on the list? She's friggin' tall + mega fabulous and he's, well..dashing...in a very exotic, mysterious kind of way. I like to imagine what they do, so yeah, that's why they're on the list *wink, wink...

SIX.

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox

Okay, first of all, she's Megan Fox. Second of all, he ain't that cute, so how else do you think he got Megan friggin' Fox to marry him? `Nuff said.

FIVE.

Heidi Klum and Seal

Ughh, I Loooveee them! The fact that she's a Victoria Secret Angel and he's got the voice of an angel and you don't know what she sees in him..bla bla blaa.... I'm very very sure they make beautiful, melodious music together in the bedroom. Raawwrr...

FOUR.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand

You know that feeling you get, when you look at a couple and say to yourself "I bet they have great sex" So yeah, this is what I always say to myself when I look at these two. I think they have hawt, steamy, tantric sex. Ooo yeah, I said tantric.

THREE.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Have you seen Mr. & Mrs. Smith?? Then you know what I mean. Remember that fight scene they had in the living room? Rough and tumble, baby...Aiiyaiyaiiii...

TWO.

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson

He's a goth god and she's a tv vampire. How awesome is that?? Plus, have you seen his video clips?? If you haven't, go download them, it's like cheap porn on steroids. I bet they tie each other up and go all latex on each other. Ahhh, my imagination is running with me...daayuumm!

ONE.

Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin

This real-life engaged couple really, really knows how to turn on the heat on screen and off it! I watched their first sex scene in True Blood, and I still get goosebumps in the right places everytime I watch it again. All their other love making scenes in the series are equally hawt, if not better! Maybe it's the whole vampire sex thing, but whatever it is, they are numero Uno on my list. :))

Honourable mentions:

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony

John Travolta & Kelly Preston

Jessica Alba & Cash Warren

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Gardner

Think before you Shag.

You know that feeling, that WTF! moment you get very early (or late) in the morning, when you wake up (preferably sober) and there's someone beside you, snoring away...you may or may not know this person (that's your business, I don't judge). Well, here's a few things you can do to avoid these moments.

Think BEFORE you SHAG.

1. If you're scared of STD's, and you should be, slap on the friggin' condom. They're cheap and available everywhere. For heaven's sake, if you're having sex, then you shouldn't be ashamed of buying one over the counter. Keep a packet in your handbag if you're out to get a lil' sumthin' sumthin'. Keep a packet on your nightstand/in your drawer. There is NO RULE saying that the dude is responsible for safe sex. It should be your responsibility.

2. If you're pro-life, meaning you're against abortion, then get a diaphragm, a cervical cap, spermicide, The Pill, two layers of condoms, ANYTHING. Don't leave your fate hanging in the balance. More often than not, lady luck's not gonna be on your side. Newsflash: Condoms ARE NOT 100% effective. Period.

3. If you've slept with this person before, and you dread doing it again, then you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Ever.

4. If you're embarrassed about being naked in front of the dude, other than in bed, i.e. taking showers together or changing in front of him, then you shouldn't be shagging him in the first place.

5. If he makes you feel like a cheap whore, in a bad way, then you shouldn't be sleeping with him. (Yes, there is a good way, only some men know how to do that. teeehehe.)

6. If this man is not your boyfriend and he has certain features that you don't like. For example; bad breath, body odour, kisses like a duck, can't make you orgasm for nuts, either get him to do better or walk away. If he is your boyfriend, do something about it.

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

Happy shagging,

S.M.

Why am I talking about this?

Because you're not.

Inevitable, I guess...

Okay, *deep breath...*

I don't want us to end.

*sigh....