Close your eyes. Make a wish.

"Do you smoke? Oh...SKL...nice! Where did you get that?"

Okay fine, I can't remember exactly how it went but it went something like that and those were my first words to you. I bet you thought I was a tooootal loser, kan? kannnn? Hahahahh. Whatever! I don't regret it one bit because if it wasn't for that stupid line, I never would have met you.

Baby girl, I would be lying if I said we fell in love at first sight because that DID NOT happen. We hit a few major bumps along the way but alas, I think we're doing preeeetttyy well, huh?

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being a part of us. Cuz we're two rocking bitches and ain't nobody can deny that! Come storms, tsunamis, evil boyfriends or crazy fucked-up attention whores.

Here's to your 24th Birthday and I am sooo looking forward to 24 gazillion more birthdays with you.

Happy Birthday, love!

P/S: Even Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a love like this even if he tried his damnest! Fo' shizzle! 

...and the Gravy Thickens.

ANONYMOUS SAID...

All my life, I've been trying to avoid conflict and make as many friends as I can
However, there are always people who keep messing around with my feeling for no concrete reason
So, I just identify these kinda people and determine whether they're worth it to be nice to or not
If they're worth because for instance they're my boss and I have to suck up to get a raise, I will try my best to endure
But if they're nothing to me, I just remove them from my list of friends
Isolate them
They're better off with their own miserable and pathetic kind
They don't deserve my anger
They don't deserve my frustration
They deserve nothing

The view must be awesome from that unbelievably high horse of yours. Not only are you presumptuous but you are bluntly admitting that you are only nice to people when there's something in it for you. If the relationship doesn't benefit you in some tangible way, you leave. Absolutely amazing. 

I love it when people take the initiative to buy their own shovels, direct themselves to a nice, flat area, start digging, jump into the hole and cover themselves up. All I have to do is pat the dirt down. I absolutely love it! 

I don't know if Mizz Anonymous is you but it suuurreee sounds like you. I'm going to assume it's you. I might be wrong but who the hell cares as long as I get my point across. So, let me get this straight, when you were coming to our place in Melaka, lepaking here and there acting like you belong, you were actually ENDURING us? Mayyybe because there was, ooh I don't know...free Internet connection, TV and rides to campus? Was that it? Homaigoddd, the picture is ever so clear now. I wonder how many horrible people you're sucking up to right this very second? Your flatmates? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your boss? Your fiancée? Hmmm...'tis indeed very interesting. I'm sure you're trying your very best to endure them. If, heaven forbid, they are suddenly of no value to you anymore and they're worth turns to nothing, you'll just isolate them. Easy-peasy. 

You, my dear, are incapable of basic human emotions. You are incapable of unconditional love. You are incapable of friendship or being in a relationship with someone just because you want them around you, not because they are only able to make life easier for you. You are incapable of letting yourself go to be able to enjoy the company you have around you. Everything that has to do with you is a ticking time bomb. You wait for them to screw up so you can leave and move on with YOUR life. You don't care that it takes two to make something last. You just sit idly by and let the other person do all the work while you reap the never-ending fruits of their labour. This is who you are. 

My question is, why pretend to begin with? Why bring all these "worthless" people into your life just to throw them out whenever YOU decide they're worthless? WHY PLAY GOD?

Hun, life isn't facebook. Living your life based on the principle of adding and then removing friends from your "list" is just plain sad and fucked up. Even by your standards, I must say. 

Finally, about the last part of your comment. The "they deserve nothing" part? I'd have to disagree with you. The way you're responding sure makes it seem like you feel that I deserve your anger at the very least. True? I'm so honoured. Bliss. 

Swallow This Pill.

Oyhhh...haven't been checking my blog as often as I should! (Bad girl! *Spank!*) I have GOOD reasons, though! Firstly, my laptop was being a bitch and a half, lagging here and there blablablabla so I asked le Boyfriend to help me reformat it and he did! It's allll good now. Secondly....hmm...wait..no, scratch that-- that's the only reason I could come up with. Lulz.

Hokkayyh, now on to some serious shit business I'm-not-kidding-this-is-serious-shizzz-that-everyone-should-pay-attention-to-seriously. Seriously................seriously. Got your attention?

So...remember that angry lil' post I wrote about the pretentious-bitch-snob-thinks-she's-better-than-everybody-bitch-queen? Yeah, this one. Well, imagine my (fake)surprise when, lo and behold, anonymous people with no names and no faces started to comment on the post. Hantar kutu, sialllll... Damn son!! Bitch called for re-enforcements! How do I know they're her kutus? Well, the comments were posted on the same day and are only 7 minutes apart. HOLY HELL!! Okay, anyways...here's the first comment:

Anonymous said...

Aku xpandai English tapi bile ak bace ko tulis pasal org ni, ko patot seday klo ko tuh bnyk flaws, try la improve rather than ko kutuk org xabes2....baik ko betoklan diri sendiri klu ko taw ko ade masalah....ni ko tulis blog cm org saiko la....klu ko improve diri ko ade gak pahala....tp ko dok ckp psl org,dpt dosa je.....xde pekdah pon.....

Other than your inherent lack of spell-checking skills, your vocab is actually fairly advanced for someone who claims that he/she does not know English. That's okay, I'll humour you for fuck's sake. Tak pandai English ye? Meh sini aku sekolahkan baekkk punya. Tolong tunjukkan dalam post berkenaan, kat mane yang aku cakap aku takde flaws? Rasanya macam dah senaraikan dengan banyaknye kat situ. Tak nampak? Hah, gi cuci mata, baca sekali lagi. Senang. Kedua, kat mane plak aku cakap aku taknak betulkan diri? The point of the post is to tell this person that it is okay to have flaws. No one will penalise you for it. No one demands perfection. When you're friends with someone, that's what you do. You handle the imperfections because you love them for who they are. Not for who they're trying to be. FRIENDS do not punish friends for having flaws. That's the point! Sorry ah, kene gak campur English sket. I get my point across faster that way. Can't say that you are able to digest them at the same speed, though.


Next, kau cakap aku tulis blog macam psycho? Kau tanye balik kawan kau tu soalan-soalan berikut ni. Berapa ramai kawan dia yang dia dah buat macam ni? Berapa ramai kawan-kawan dia yang dah pun dia buangkan macam tu saje? Takan SEMUA orang salah and dia sorang betul? Kalau macam tu dah kira ohhsommmee super-saiya la kawan kau tu. Dulu masa dia buat kat orang, aku diam je, ikut turut.Ye la, sebab kawan kan, ape yang kawan buat semua betul, orang lain yang salah. Aku dah kenal dia ni lama. Almost 6 years. Orang cakap pasal dia itu, ini...aku diamkan je. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Bila dia mengata kawan-kawan aku yang lain, aku simpan. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Tapi bila kena kat kepala sendiri, mau tau la rasa dia macam mane. Sakit. FAHAM? It. Fucking. Hurts. Sape psycho sekarang? Sila jawab.

Satu lagi-- My dosa/pahala is not your fucking problem. Period. 

Second comment:


I just dont understand what is your problem with this person that you are talking about....where it all started is not specified in this post....you should have specified where it all started so that all your loyal followers can really follow you on this wonderful ride about this person that you hate....

Haa....yang ni pandai English plak. Beraneka sungguh kutu-kutu beliau.

Before I respond. Nice touch adding the "loyal followers" bit. I LOLed my ass off. You funny!


I once read somewhere that "extreme hatred can only stem from extreme affection". Can't really remember where I read that. There's a good chance I made it up.


Okay, here's what happened. I'm gonna try my very best to make this short but I don't think it's gonna work. --- She says things that are so mean about people that I just can't stand being around her anymore. All she does all day is complain about everything! Her job, people around her, her bosses, her colleagues and even the people she lives with. Yes, you people who live with her. Yeah, see...no one else knows that because she tells ME these things. And what do I do? I listen and keep quiet. Well, my momma always told me that if someone can tell you bad things about other people, they're probably saying equally bad things about you..and momma was right.


We were going to move in together. She chose the house. She said she wanted to stay together because it would "feel nice to stay with friends" and that "she wanted a better apartment". I wanted to include a colleague in the mix because she was also looking for a place to stay. Let's call said colleague "Bella" (whhaaat? it IS Twilight season isn't it?). So, as I was saying, Bella was looking for a place to stay so I suggested that we all move in together. The first thing she asked me was "What race is Bella?" I didn't really think race meant anything but I answered her anyways. After I told her Bella was of a specific race, she said..and I quote "Hmm..I macam tak suke sgt duduk ngan **********. Diorang macam pengotor." I should've seen the signs then, but I ignored them. (Forget about counting the stars and trying to guess the race, aku sengaja kasi panjang, teehehehehh)


As fate wanted it, she didn't move in with Bella and I because she had some financial constraints she needed to deal with. That's fine. So, here we were, the three of us working in the same office, sharing the same jokes, dealing with the same shit every day. Together. Or so I thought. Then she decided that she didn't like me anymore and wanted to cut me out of the picture. So began the lying and sneaking around. The going out to dinner together without telling me and then when it slipped one day, she did a shoddy job of trying to hide it, but it was too late. I guess I could choose to proudly claim that I couldn't care less that they didn't invite me to dinner and make myself sound oh-so strong and independent but I would be lying. YOU try feeling what I felt that day. Ostracised like a pariah. Boxed out of a group you thought were your friends. I decided that that was the last straw. I'm not going to put myself through this shit because I was not about to beg for friendship from someone who didn't want me as a friend. I ended it-- on my terms. Granted, it turned out pretty ugly but I'm kinda glad it happened. So YOU tell me how am I supposed to feel after all that.


You might be asking why am I not punishing Bella as well? Weren't they in it together? Well, the reason is simple. When you've grown to care for someone over the course of a few years, the sadness and the anger is multiplied and directly proportionate. That's why. I've known her longer, so I expected more from her. So now, I want you to tell me something-- would you want to be around this person?


I don't have many friends. The awesome friends that I do have and trust can certainly attest to that. So when I do make friends, I invest my time, energy and feelings into them. Probably more than I should. It has burned me a few times in the past, but I guess I'm never going to learn. I have so much love to give and not everyone deserves it. I just can't seem to identify the people who don't deserve them, until some fucked up shit like this slaps me in the face.

Maybe I am the one who's wrong in this situation. Maybe I did do something to deserve the way she treated me. However, it is mighty pretentious and ignorant of her to claim to be holier than thou throughout all this, ain't it?

24 Candles.

I

AM

24.

Ahh well, another birthday has come and gone and as of the 16th of October, I am now 24. I know I'm not old enough to say "I feel sooo old" but... I feel soooo old! Hahahah. 

It was, by far, the best birthday ever! 

For the first time ever, I got to celebrate it with my now-27-year-old boyfriend, whose birthday was just two days before mine! Nggeeeee! 

FRIDAY 14/10/2011

....and so, the weekend starts.
We did his birthday in Chilli's BSC.

The Byous came to spice things up!
Syed and Sheril ;)

They just HAD to get us pressies. hehehe. 

My jaw dropped.... So you know it was an awesome gift.

His and her mugs!!!! With our picture on it!!!! Teeheheee ;)

The Bros

The Chicas

Next up, Movida, yo!

I was suuuuperrr sleepy. Checkout my eyes.

SATURDAY 15/10/2011

On the eve of my birthday, I went out again but this time it was with the girls. Mas, Aimi and Kak D (or so I thought). Aimi's birthday is also in October so we did the whole double birthday thingy in Las Carretas. Mas had to pull the whole surprise thing again (like she did last year) and invited some people without telling me! Azim, Pami and Addy came too! So we ate, unwrapped presents and ate some more!

Girls!

Addy!

Azim and Pami, who by the way, are GETTING MARRIED!!!!
Congratufuckinglationss!!

Mas and Azim.

Another birthday surprise from Mas.
On top of the handbag, she HAD to get me this, too. Iskk.
Awesome friend is awesome, hokkaayy?

And then Addy did something naughty and made me cry. :(

I calmed down enough so Mas could snap this picture.
I LOVE the present, Addy! Thanks for bringing Noel to the party ;)

I miss you idiots.

Aimi couldn't stop laughing when she found out what was in the bag.
Soooo cute! Hahaha. Use them well, love!

Then, they put sombreros (or something laiddat) on our heads and sang to us!

Our souvenirs, which we had to sing for; in friggin' SPANISH! 

Thank you my loves!!

SUNDAY 16/10/2011

The celebrations didn't end there. On my birthday, le Boyfriend brought me to a Brazilian Barbecue Buffet. Yes, it does sound awesome, and it WAS awesome. We didn't take any pictures because we were too damn busy chowing down all the meat in the world. You name it, chicken, beef, lamb, fish, sausages, chicken ham blablablablaaaa...I was a balloon by the time I took my last bite. Seriously, BEST. MEAL. EVER!!! Thank you, baby! 

Oh and I got to lepak with Mas and Ridhwan!!! We spent a good 2-3 hours bitching, gossiping, drooling over the hawt Ikea guy (constantly asking him to help us find things baaahahahah) and to wrap it all up, we saw a snatch thief getting caught and beaten up in the middle of the road. Awesome, ayy?

Finally on Monday, the good people in my office had a mini celebration thingy and they bought me a cake ;) teeehehee...

A birthday fit for a Queen? Well I think so! :)

Then and Now.

Just so everyone's clear on the subject...

Then...

WOMAN

Now...

BIMBO

Then...

MAN 

Now...

DOUCHE 

What

 the 

fuck 

happened? 

Wrap it up to go, Please!

So let's talk about something we all know and love....

Plastic bags.

That's right! Everyone looveeesss plastic bags. Especially us, Malaysians! Every single thing, every single day, every single task -- keep 'em plastic bags in handy! and come on, we all know about what plastic bags do to the environment, but we don't care. Plastic bags are waaaayy too cool to give up.

So what's that 'No Plastic Bag Day' thing again? Right, every Saturday, big mega stores don't give away plastic bags for free. You gotta pay 20 sen a pop if you wanna take your groceries home. What's the other option? Yes, pay triple/quadruple/quintuple the amount for ONE eco-friendly bag. So, let's say you need 5 plastic bags, that's only a buck. ONE eco bag costs 4 bucks (maybe). People would rather spend on plastic bags, don't you think so?

What's this all about then? Saving the environment? Not being so serious about it now, are we? You see, plastic bags are cheaper to make, easier to ship around the country and easier to distribute. They are also non-biodegradable which means they're pretty much here, forever. Plus, they can suffocate young children.

So, instead of stopping the use of plastic bags altogether, big mega hyper supermarkets tell you this: Oh yes, we're all for saving the environment, that's why we have the No Plastic Bag Day every Saturday and we charge 20 sen for people who insist on using plastic bags on Saturday. We also have these super cute eco bags you can buy and keep for the next time you go shopping. They cost a little bit more but it's a once in a lifetime investment.

Now, what they don't tell you is this: They don't want you to buy eco bags because then you will stop using plastic bags. Then, the big giant plastic bag factory goes out of business. That's not good because then the big giant factories that sell the chemicals to make plastic bags would go out of business. Aaanndd what do you need to make plastic bags? That's right, good old petroleum. Get the picture? Fun fact: Since 2009, these mega companies have collected about a million bucks from the sale of plastic bags every Saturday. Icing on the cake isn't it? Not only do they continue to use plastic bags, they now get money from it. Awesome.

No, I'm not gonna end this post with some profound statement on why we should all stop using plastic bags and stick it to the man. You're all adults capable of logical and mature thought. You decide.


Food for thought: Has ANYONE ever thought of using paper bags? Just saying...

Fine.

My blog has seen a lot of my bitchy days. Yes, I constantly find reasons to hate people and coincidentally, people constantly find reasons to hate me too. I never think of the reasons why...hating is just too much fun ;) I'm not saying it's constructive, nor is it good for the soul -- it's just fun.

The thing is, I hate confrontation. I really do..but I can't seem to stop these fingers of mine from ranting endlessly on Facebook. I really think that's one of my silly weaknesses. But then the question arises, how come these people, or this person in question, always knows that I'm talking about them? I NEVER mention names and I NEVER point to specific events. I guess if it applies, then you know it lah kan? So, this is clearly a case of "Siapa gigit cili, dia rasa pedas."  ain't it? Oh don't get me wrong, I read their statuses too, and I kinda taste the pedas a bit. Don't worry baby, I always got milk handy.

So...since you might be cracking your head about the reasons why...here's why.

1. I know how this started...people always say "Oh..I don't even know how this whole thing started." Nope. Not me. I know exactly how this started. Therefore, I can't forgive because I can't exactly forget just yet, can I?

2. This person continues to annoy me to core by being a pretentious snob and thinking that the world revolves around them. They forget where they come from and they make life a living hell for anyone who comes too close. They don't know meaning of class and decorum and they constantly embarrass themselves and you for being around them.

3. They speak before running their thoughts through a filter first. Orang tua-tua cakap, mulut takde insurans. I mean, seriously, think before you speak, yo! I don't deny that sometimes, smart things do come out of their mouth, but that's a very rare occasion. So, whenever it happens, I give them a standing ovation in my head, just to celebrate the moment.

4. They have their ups and downs. Sometimes, it's all hunky-dory and things are awesome between everyone. Then suddenly, they decide to snap and your whole day turns to shit. It's like they control the mood for the day. So, before anyone decides to feel happy, you better check with them first. They might have a crappy day planned ahead for you. If you feel like being a party crapper, then don't come to the party. Just STFU.

5. They feel like the top of the world and easily get intimidated if someone else is doing better. This annoys me the most. Understand that everyone is built differently. I have things that I'm awesome at, SO DO YOU! I'm fat, you're not. Isn't that enough?

6. All they do, all day, is complain. Complain. Complain. Complain. Like they have NOTHING to be thankful for. Seriously? I can count your blessings for you if you can't count that high.

So...you think I talk shit about you behind your back? YES. I most certainly do. So do you. How does that make you and I any different?

Hi. My name is Nor Aafina bt. Mohd. Zamil. I was born in Johor Bahru but I grew up in Sungai Petani, Kedah where I spent the most amazing childhood with my Mum and Dad, two baby sisters and a baby brother. I'm the eldest so I basically have to stand on my own two feet. My parents don't really work anymore so I can't depend on them as much because they still have three other children to worry about and two are still in school. I don't have a lot of money, I don't have a big family, I don't have a lot of friends. So when I say I'm struggling sometimes, I really am. I have things that I'm good at. I know I speak really well, I can write a kick-ass essay in 20 minutes, my grammar is awesome, I cook a mean meal and I can crap my way out of most of the fucked up situations I find myself in sometimes, amongst other things. On the other hand, I know I suck at a lot of things. I like to correct people when they say something I know to be wrong. I can be headstrong many a times, I suck at keeping my room neat and tidy, I am shit at saving money and I eat waaayy too much for my own good. I don't have an awesome voice but I sing anyways. I'm not always a good daughter/sister/girlfriend/friend but I try to be, maybe not as often as I should.

See, the difference is, I know who I am and where I come from. Do you?

Your move.


P/S: Hatred is such a strong word. I'd like to think of it as "tough love". ;)