Ink, NOT Mink.

Loving PETA's Ink, Not Mink series.

What more could a girl ask for? Sigh...

Sigh...

I now know for certain that KD is sooo comel whenever we watch documentaries on animals on TV.

Observe...

Watching a documentary on Anacondas...

KD : Aafin!! Ape tu? Yang besar tu?

Me : Oh, tu capybara.

KD : Amende tu?

Me : Tah...dia macam beaver kot.

KD : Oh, tapi dia ada kaki la??

Me : $%^&**%$#@#$%^&*%$#@&^%$# BEAVER TAKDE KAKI LA PULAAKKKK!!

LMAO.ROTFLMAO.LOL.LOLLL!

Btw, I googled capybaras later and found out that they're NOT like beavers. They're rodents. Huge ass rodents and are the biggest mammals in South America.

See, we ALL learnt something today. Nggeeeee!

Papa, can you hear me?

Spice-saayyhhh!

Don't worry honey, Papa should be able to hear you loud and clear now..

Regrets, I've had a few...

...this ain't one of them.

Sape tah yang nak PUBLIC APOLOGY tu??

choyh.

*Drumroll*

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

MALAYSIA!!!

Selamat Hari Malaysia, loves!!

teeheeheee..

Stick it where the Sun don't shine.

Dearly DePORTed,

We are gathered here to witness your stupidity.

Have you ever considered the fact that maybe..just maybe...you're not good enough for us?

Think about it.

Besides, no one's twisting your arm, go back if you want to. My country can do without a few shiny trinkets and glossy paper. Ouh, and you can take your so-called "knight in shining armour" with you. I'm sure we can live with one less idiot.

BTW, just wondering..if ze business is doing sooo well, and you're indeed "enriching" our economy as you claim you are, then how come 200 bucks is an issue? Oh sorry, 400 bucks, cuz u gotta pay for that thing on your leash.

...aaannd.. you blame the crappy administration?? NO ONE talks smack about my government but the people who have bloody well earned the right to do so, the people who stood in line and voted, the people whose blood spilled for this country's freedom and sovereignty. WE are Malaysians.

You do not have the courtesy, the grace, or the guts to be a citizen of MY country.

Puh-leasee...

BTW, the 31st of August is NOT Malaysia's birthday. On the 31st of August 1957, MALAYA gained independence from the British. And zen, on the 16th of September 1963, Malaya joined Sabah, Sarawak and Singapore to form MALAYSIA. Singapore left the federation in 1965 to became an independent state. Kapish? Go learn our history first, okay?

Who says I'm not patriotic? teehee..

Everything needs Strategy.

So... I'm guessing (hoping) you've all heard of this little establishment...

If you haven't, well, it's okay...just stick to your nasi campur and warungs and stuff. (Yes offence)

They have all this raw food (chicken, beef, lamb, seafood, veggies) marinated in a million different ways and displayed as such...

and zen, when you've taken your pick...you grill/boil them yourself like this...

Genius ain't it?

...and before I forget, it's served as a buffet so once you've paid, free-flow baby.

I've been to buffets before but Seoul Garden is very much different. Ask anyone who's been there and they'll tell you the same thing.

The fact that you cook your own meal makes you forget how much you're really putting into that tummy of yours. Before you know it, you're bloated as a pumpkin. Trust me, been there. A friend of mine actually blew chunks after eating there. True story...

So, like I always say..there should always a strategy for everything you do and here are my strategies/tips for a meal at Seoul Garden. I dub thee, Death by Barbeque *shivers*

Pre-Death by Barbeque (DBB)

1. Plan ahead with your friends. DBB cannot be a spur of the moment thing.

2. Save up! Obviously you need moolah and DBB ain't cheap. Prices vary according to outlets. Do check before you go.

3. Book a table if you think there's gonna be a rush of people especially during weekends and currently, during buka puasa.

On the day of DBB

1. If you're having DBB for lunch, I suggest you skip breakfast but don't keep your tummy empty!! Drink Milo or have a light sandwich. You'll eat better if your tummy's not completely empty.

2. If you're having DBB for dinner, then have breakfast followed by a very verrryy light lunch. A salad/sandwich would be good. Remember, it's all about creating space. Loads and loads of space in your tummy.

3. Make sure you wear loose-fitting clothes and pants. Ladies, No tight shirts, and absolutely NO TIGHT JEANS. You're gonna end up busting your zipper at the table or worst, you might cut the blood circulation your brain because girlfriend, you are gonna bloat like no one's business. I'm dead serious.

During DBB

1. Pace yourself. You don't have to grill everything at once. It IS a buffet so you ARE allowed to take food more than once, ya'know? So chill, take your time.

2. You've paid for the food, so try everything once (unless you detest it or you're allergic to it).

3. Cook it well! Don't get impatient and start eating everything under-cooked. You're responsible for preparing your meal, so you're responsible for whether or not you get sick after eating it. Kapish?

4. ...aannd do not waste! Take what you need, if you've taken more, then try to finish it because Seoul Garden charges for wastage - RM5 for every 100gm wasted. Chingg!!

5. For smokers, do what I do, take ciggie breaks in the middle of your meal. It helps!! But don't pause for too long, because after 20 minutes your tummy will send signals to your brain telling your body that you're full. Then, the fun stops. :(

Post-DBB

1. If you're still standing, Hurrraahhhhh! The hardest part is over!

2. Walk slowly towards your car and head home. Shopping is not a good idea after DBB. Just. Head. HOME. Why didn't you shop before you ate, hmm?

3. Take a dump. I know, TMI. But, seriously. Take a dump.

4. Avoid Seoul Garden for at least another month or two if you know what's best for your body AND your wallet. ;))

Well, that about sums it all up. Good Luck!!!

Teehehee.

S.M.