La Vie en Péché

Gulp

2011-12-10T06:37:00.001-08:00

"NOBODY

else gets to decide whether or not we get married. It'll be

OUR

decision."

-le Boyfriend.

howdafuqqqqdoireacttothis?? hamaiigaddd

$%^&*%^#^##$&$%^die.

Rewind that Cassette.

2011-12-03T06:30:00.001-08:00

Here's my list of awesome musicians kids today and in the future will not be able to appreciate. Well, at least not as much as I did when I was growing up. Unless they have super cool parents or big sisters like me. Teehehehee.

Radiohead

Dave Matthews Band

Oasis

Savage Garden

Alanis Morissette

Bon Jovi

Eagle Eye Cherry

Garbage

Hole

Weezer

Lenny Kravitz

Rod Stewart

The Smashing Pumpkins

Pearl Jam

Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Third Eye Blind

The Wallflowers

I'm sure there are hundreds more musicians where that came from but for now, these are the ones I miss. They're not necessarily my favourites, but I chose them because I remember having at least one song of theirs stuck in my head when I was a youngin'. This was waaayyyyyy before MTV or iTunes or radio conglomerates had any say in matters of music. Some of them still make music, but it's not the same. Back then, they made music for the fun of it...now it's all about selling albums and concert tickets.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with loving Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift...I listen to them too.

But kids, you sure missed some gooooood times from way back when. Ah well..

Again, this is MY list. Haters, be gone.

Close your eyes. Make a wish.

2011-11-30T07:33:00.001-08:00

"Do you smoke? Oh...SKL...nice! Where did you get that?"

Okay fine, I can't remember exactly how it went but it went something like that and those were my first words to you. I bet you thought I was a tooootal loser, kan? kannnn? Hahahahh. Whatever! I don't regret it one bit because if it wasn't for that stupid line, I never would have met you.

Baby girl, I would be lying if I said we fell in love at first sight because that DID NOT happen. We hit a few major bumps along the way but alas, I think we're doing preeeetttyy well, huh?

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being a part of us. Cuz we're two rocking bitches and ain't nobody can deny that! Come storms, tsunamis, evil boyfriends or crazy fucked-up attention whores.

Here's to your 24th Birthday and I am sooo looking forward to 24 gazillion more birthdays with you.

Happy Birthday, love!

P/S: Even Nicholas Sparks couldn't write a love like this even if he tried his damnest! Fo' shizzle!

...and the Gravy Thickens.

2011-11-29T23:50:00.001-08:00

ANONYMOUS SAID...

All my life, I've been trying to avoid conflict and make as many friends as I can
However, there are always people who keep messing around with my feeling for no concrete reason
So, I just identify these kinda people and determine whether they're worth it to be nice to or not
If they're worth because for instance they're my boss and I have to suck up to get a raise, I will try my best to endure
But if they're nothing to me, I just remove them from my list of friends
Isolate them
They're better off with their own miserable and pathetic kind
They don't deserve my anger
They don't deserve my frustration
They deserve nothing

The view must be awesome from that unbelievably high horse of yours. Not only are you presumptuous but you are bluntly admitting that you are only nice to people when there's something in it for you. If the relationship doesn't benefit you in some tangible way, you leave. Absolutely amazing.

I love it when people take the initiative to buy their own shovels, direct themselves to a nice, flat area, start digging, jump into the hole and cover themselves up. All I have to do is pat the dirt down. I absolutely love it!

I don't know if Mizz Anonymous is you but it suuurreee sounds like you. I'm going to assume it's you. I might be wrong but who the hell cares as long as I get my point across. So, let me get this straight, when you were coming to our place in Melaka, lepaking here and there acting like you belong, you were actually ENDURING us? Mayyybe because there was, ooh I don't know...free Internet connection, TV and rides to campus? Was that it? Homaigoddd, the picture is ever so clear now. I wonder how many horrible people you're sucking up to right this very second? Your flatmates? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your boss? Your fiancée? Hmmm...'tis indeed very interesting. I'm sure you're trying your very best to endure them. If, heaven forbid, they are suddenly of no value to you anymore and they're worth turns to nothing, you'll just isolate them. Easy-peasy.

You, my dear, are incapable of basic human emotions. You are incapable of unconditional love. You are incapable of friendship or being in a relationship with someone just because you want them around you, not because they are only able to make life easier for you. You are incapable of letting yourself go to be able to enjoy the company you have around you. Everything that has to do with you is a ticking time bomb. You wait for them to screw up so you can leave and move on with YOUR life. You don't care that it takes two to make something last. You just sit idly by and let the other person do all the work while you reap the never-ending fruits of their labour. This is who you are.

My question is, why pretend to begin with? Why bring all these "worthless" people into your life just to throw them out whenever YOU decide they're worthless? WHY PLAY GOD?

Hun, life isn't facebook. Living your life based on the principle of adding and then removing friends from your "list" is just plain sad and fucked up. Even by your standards, I must say.

Finally, about the last part of your comment. The "they deserve nothing" part? I'd have to disagree with you. The way you're responding sure makes it seem like you feel that I deserve your anger at the very least. True? I'm so honoured. Bliss.

Swallow This Pill.

2011-11-29T04:57:00.001-08:00

Oyhhh...haven't been checking my blog as often as I should! (Bad girl! *Spank!*) I have GOOD reasons, though! Firstly, my laptop was being a bitch and a half, lagging here and there blablablabla so I asked le Boyfriend to help me reformat it and he did! It's allll good now. Secondly....hmm...wait..no, scratch that-- that's the only reason I could come up with. Lulz.

Hokkayyh, now on to some serious shit business I'm-not-kidding-this-is-serious-shizzz-that-everyone-should-pay-attention-to-seriously. Seriously................seriously. Got your attention?

So...remember that angry lil' post I wrote about the pretentious-bitch-snob-thinks-she's-better-than-everybody-bitch-queen? Yeah, this one. Well, imagine my (fake)surprise when, lo and behold, anonymous people with no names and no faces started to comment on the post. Hantar kutu, sialllll... Damn son!! Bitch called for re-enforcements! How do I know they're her kutus? Well, the comments were posted on the same day and are only 7 minutes apart. HOLY HELL!! Okay, anyways...here's the first comment:

Anonymous said...

Aku xpandai English tapi bile ak bace ko tulis pasal org ni, ko patot seday klo ko tuh bnyk flaws, try la improve rather than ko kutuk org xabes2....baik ko betoklan diri sendiri klu ko taw ko ade masalah....ni ko tulis blog cm org saiko la....klu ko improve diri ko ade gak pahala....tp ko dok ckp psl org,dpt dosa je.....xde pekdah pon.....

Other than your inherent lack of spell-checking skills, your vocab is actually fairly advanced for someone who claims that he/she does not know English. That's okay, I'll humour you for fuck's sake. Tak pandai English ye? Meh sini aku sekolahkan baekkk punya. Tolong tunjukkan dalam post berkenaan, kat mane yang aku cakap aku takde flaws? Rasanya macam dah senaraikan dengan banyaknye kat situ. Tak nampak? Hah, gi cuci mata, baca sekali lagi. Senang. Kedua, kat mane plak aku cakap aku taknak betulkan diri? The point of the post is to tell this person that it is okay to have flaws. No one will penalise you for it. No one demands perfection. When you're friends with someone, that's what you do. You handle the imperfections because you love them for who they are. Not for who they're trying to be. FRIENDS do not punish friends for having flaws. That's the point! Sorry ah, kene gak campur English sket. I get my point across faster that way. Can't say that you are able to digest them at the same speed, though.

Next, kau cakap aku tulis blog macam psycho? Kau tanye balik kawan kau tu soalan-soalan berikut ni. Berapa ramai kawan dia yang dia dah buat macam ni? Berapa ramai kawan-kawan dia yang dah pun dia buangkan macam tu saje? Takan SEMUA orang salah and dia sorang betul? Kalau macam tu dah kira ohhsommmee super-saiya la kawan kau tu. Dulu masa dia buat kat orang, aku diam je, ikut turut.Ye la, sebab kawan kan, ape yang kawan buat semua betul, orang lain yang salah. Aku dah kenal dia ni lama. Almost 6 years. Orang cakap pasal dia itu, ini...aku diamkan je. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Bila dia mengata kawan-kawan aku yang lain, aku simpan. Sebab ape? Kawan punya pasal. Tapi bila kena kat kepala sendiri, mau tau la rasa dia macam mane. Sakit. FAHAM? It. Fucking. Hurts. Sape psycho sekarang? Sila jawab.

Satu lagi-- My dosa/pahala is not your fucking problem. Period.

Second comment:

I just dont understand what is your problem with this person that you are talking about....where it all started is not specified in this post....you should have specified where it all started so that all your loyal followers can really follow you on this wonderful ride about this person that you hate....

Haa....yang ni pandai English plak. Beraneka sungguh kutu-kutu beliau.

Before I respond. Nice touch adding the "loyal followers" bit. I LOLed my ass off. You funny!

I once read somewhere that "extreme hatred can only stem from extreme affection". Can't really remember where I read that. There's a good chance I made it up.

Okay, here's what happened. I'm gonna try my very best to make this short but I don't think it's gonna work. --- She says things that are so mean about people that I just can't stand being around her anymore. All she does all day is complain about everything! Her job, people around her, her bosses, her colleagues and even the people she lives with. Yes, you people who live with her. Yeah, see...no one else knows that because she tells ME these things. And what do I do? I listen and keep quiet. Well, my momma always told me that if someone can tell you bad things about other people, they're probably saying equally bad things about you..and momma was right.

We were going to move in together. She chose the house. She said she wanted to stay together because it would "feel nice to stay with friends" and that "she wanted a better apartment". I wanted to include a colleague in the mix because she was also looking for a place to stay. Let's call said colleague "Bella" (whhaaat? it IS Twilight season isn't it?). So, as I was saying, Bella was looking for a place to stay so I suggested that we all move in together. The first thing she asked me was "What race is Bella?" I didn't really think race meant anything but I answered her anyways. After I told her Bella was of a specific race, she said..and I quote "Hmm..I macam tak suke sgt duduk ngan **********. Diorang macam pengotor." I should've seen the signs then, but I ignored them. (Forget about counting the stars and trying to guess the race, aku sengaja kasi panjang, teehehehehh)

As fate wanted it, she didn't move in with Bella and I because she had some financial constraints she needed to deal with. That's fine. So, here we were, the three of us working in the same office, sharing the same jokes, dealing with the same shit every day. Together. Or so I thought. Then she decided that she didn't like me anymore and wanted to cut me out of the picture. So began the lying and sneaking around. The going out to dinner together without telling me and then when it slipped one day, she did a shoddy job of trying to hide it, but it was too late. I guess I could choose to proudly claim that I couldn't care less that they didn't invite me to dinner and make myself sound oh-so strong and independent but I would be lying. YOU try feeling what I felt that day. Ostracised like a pariah. Boxed out of a group you thought were your friends. I decided that that was the last straw. I'm not going to put myself through this shit because I was not about to beg for friendship from someone who didn't want me as a friend. I ended it-- on my terms. Granted, it turned out pretty ugly but I'm kinda glad it happened. So YOU tell me how am I supposed to feel after all that.

You might be asking why am I not punishing Bella as well? Weren't they in it together? Well, the reason is simple. When you've grown to care for someone over the course of a few years, the sadness and the anger is multiplied and directly proportionate. That's why. I've known her longer, so I expected more from her. So now, I want you to tell me something-- would you want to be around this person?

I don't have many friends. The awesome friends that I do have and trust can certainly attest to that. So when I do make friends, I invest my time, energy and feelings into them. Probably more than I should. It has burned me a few times in the past, but I guess I'm never going to learn. I have so much love to give and not everyone deserves it. I just can't seem to identify the people who don't deserve them, until some fucked up shit like this slaps me in the face.

Maybe I am the one who's wrong in this situation. Maybe I did do something to deserve the way she treated me. However, it is mighty pretentious and ignorant of her to claim to be holier than thou throughout all this, ain't it?

24 Candles.

2011-10-18T02:35:00.000-07:00

24.

Ahh well, another birthday has come and gone and as of the 16th of October, I am now 24. I know I'm not old enough to say "I feel sooo old" but... I feel soooo old! Hahahah.

It was, by far, the best birthday ever!

For the first time ever, I got to celebrate it with my now-27-year-old boyfriend, whose birthday was just two days before mine! Nggeeeee!

FRIDAY 14/10/2011

....and so, the weekend starts.
We did his birthday in Chilli's BSC.

The Byous came to spice things up!
Syed and Sheril ;)

They just HAD to get us pressies. hehehe.

My jaw dropped.... So you know it was an awesome gift.

His and her mugs!!!! With our picture on it!!!! Teeheheee ;)

The Bros

The Chicas

Next up, Movida, yo!

I was suuuuperrr sleepy. Checkout my eyes.

SATURDAY 15/10/2011

On the eve of my birthday, I went out again but this time it was with the girls. Mas, Aimi and Kak D (or so I thought). Aimi's birthday is also in October so we did the whole double birthday thingy in Las Carretas. Mas had to pull the whole surprise thing again (like she did last year) and invited some people without telling me! Azim, Pami and Addy came too! So we ate, unwrapped presents and ate some more!

Girls!

Addy!

Azim and Pami, who by the way, are GETTING MARRIED!!!!
Congratufuckinglationss!!

Mas and Azim.

Another birthday surprise from Mas.
On top of the handbag, she HAD to get me this, too. Iskk.
Awesome friend is awesome, hokkaayy?

And then Addy did something naughty and made me cry. :(

I calmed down enough so Mas could snap this picture.
I LOVE the present, Addy! Thanks for bringing Noel to the party ;)

I miss you idiots.

Aimi couldn't stop laughing when she found out what was in the bag.
Soooo cute! Hahaha. Use them well, love!

Then, they put sombreros (or something laiddat) on our heads and sang to us!

Our souvenirs, which we had to sing for; in friggin' SPANISH!

Thank you my loves!!

SUNDAY 16/10/2011

The celebrations didn't end there. On my birthday, le Boyfriend brought me to a Brazilian Barbecue Buffet. Yes, it does sound awesome, and it WAS awesome. We didn't take any pictures because we were too damn busy chowing down all the meat in the world. You name it, chicken, beef, lamb, fish, sausages, chicken ham blablablablaaaa...I was a balloon by the time I took my last bite. Seriously, BEST. MEAL. EVER!!! Thank you, baby!

Oh and I got to lepak with Mas and Ridhwan!!! We spent a good 2-3 hours bitching, gossiping, drooling over the hawt Ikea guy (constantly asking him to help us find things baaahahahah) and to wrap it all up, we saw a snatch thief getting caught and beaten up in the middle of the road. Awesome, ayy?

Finally on Monday, the good people in my office had a mini celebration thingy and they bought me a cake ;) teeehehee...

A birthday fit for a Queen? Well I think so! :)

Then and Now.

2011-10-07T00:57:00.000-07:00

Just so everyone's clear on the subject...

Then...

WOMAN

Now...

BIMBO

Then...

MAN

Now...

DOUCHE

What

the

fuck

happened?

Wrap it up to go, Please!

2011-09-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

So let's talk about something we all know and love....

Plastic bags.

That's right! Everyone looveeesss plastic bags. Especially us, Malaysians! Every single thing, every single day, every single task -- keep 'em plastic bags in handy! and come on, we all know about what plastic bags do to the environment, but we don't care. Plastic bags are waaaayy too cool to give up.

So what's that 'No Plastic Bag Day' thing again? Right, every Saturday, big mega stores don't give away plastic bags for free. You gotta pay 20 sen a pop if you wanna take your groceries home. What's the other option? Yes, pay triple/quadruple/quintuple the amount for ONE eco-friendly bag. So, let's say you need 5 plastic bags, that's only a buck. ONE eco bag costs 4 bucks (maybe). People would rather spend on plastic bags, don't you think so?

What's this all about then? Saving the environment? Not being so serious about it now, are we? You see, plastic bags are cheaper to make, easier to ship around the country and easier to distribute. They are also non-biodegradable which means they're pretty much here, forever. Plus, they can suffocate young children.

So, instead of stopping the use of plastic bags altogether, big mega hyper supermarkets tell you this: Oh yes, we're all for saving the environment, that's why we have the No Plastic Bag Day every Saturday and we charge 20 sen for people who insist on using plastic bags on Saturday. We also have these super cute eco bags you can buy and keep for the next time you go shopping. They cost a little bit more but it's a once in a lifetime investment.

Now, what they don't tell you is this: They don't want you to buy eco bags because then you will stop using plastic bags. Then, the big giant plastic bag factory goes out of business. That's not good because then the big giant factories that sell the chemicals to make plastic bags would go out of business. Aaanndd what do you need to make plastic bags? That's right, good old petroleum. Get the picture? Fun fact: Since 2009, these mega companies have collected about a million bucks from the sale of plastic bags every Saturday. Icing on the cake isn't it? Not only do they continue to use plastic bags, they now get money from it. Awesome.

No, I'm not gonna end this post with some profound statement on why we should all stop using plastic bags and stick it to the man. You're all adults capable of logical and mature thought. You decide.

Food for thought: Has ANYONE ever thought of using paper bags? Just saying...

Fine.

2011-09-20T04:21:00.000-07:00

My blog has seen a lot of my bitchy days. Yes, I constantly find reasons to hate people and coincidentally, people constantly find reasons to hate me too. I never think of the reasons why...hating is just too much fun ;) I'm not saying it's constructive, nor is it good for the soul -- it's just fun.

The thing is, I hate confrontation. I really do..but I can't seem to stop these fingers of mine from ranting endlessly on Facebook. I really think that's one of my silly weaknesses. But then the question arises, how come these people, or this person in question, always knows that I'm talking about them? I NEVER mention names and I NEVER point to specific events. I guess if it applies, then you know it lah kan? So, this is clearly a case of "Siapa gigit cili, dia rasa pedas." ain't it? Oh don't get me wrong, I read their statuses too, and I kinda taste the pedas a bit. Don't worry baby, I always got milk handy.

So...since you might be cracking your head about the reasons why...here's why.

1. I know how this started...people always say "Oh..I don't even know how this whole thing started." Nope. Not me. I know exactly how this started. Therefore, I can't forgive because I can't exactly forget just yet, can I?

2. This person continues to annoy me to core by being a pretentious snob and thinking that the world revolves around them. They forget where they come from and they make life a living hell for anyone who comes too close. They don't know meaning of class and decorum and they constantly embarrass themselves and you for being around them.

3. They speak before running their thoughts through a filter first. Orang tua-tua cakap, mulut takde insurans. I mean, seriously, think before you speak, yo! I don't deny that sometimes, smart things do come out of their mouth, but that's a very rare occasion. So, whenever it happens, I give them a standing ovation in my head, just to celebrate the moment.

4. They have their ups and downs. Sometimes, it's all hunky-dory and things are awesome between everyone. Then suddenly, they decide to snap and your whole day turns to shit. It's like they control the mood for the day. So, before anyone decides to feel happy, you better check with them first. They might have a crappy day planned ahead for you. If you feel like being a party crapper, then don't come to the party. Just STFU.

5. They feel like the top of the world and easily get intimidated if someone else is doing better. This annoys me the most. Understand that everyone is built differently. I have things that I'm awesome at, SO DO YOU! I'm fat, you're not. Isn't that enough?

6. All they do, all day, is complain. Complain. Complain. Complain. Like they have NOTHING to be thankful for. Seriously? I can count your blessings for you if you can't count that high.

So...you think I talk shit about you behind your back? YES. I most certainly do. So do you. How does that make you and I any different?

Hi. My name is Nor Aafina bt. Mohd. Zamil. I was born in Johor Bahru but I grew up in Sungai Petani, Kedah where I spent the most amazing childhood with my Mum and Dad, two baby sisters and a baby brother. I'm the eldest so I basically have to stand on my own two feet. My parents don't really work anymore so I can't depend on them as much because they still have three other children to worry about and two are still in school. I don't have a lot of money, I don't have a big family, I don't have a lot of friends. So when I say I'm struggling sometimes, I really am. I have things that I'm good at. I know I speak really well, I can write a kick-ass essay in 20 minutes, my grammar is awesome, I cook a mean meal and I can crap my way out of most of the fucked up situations I find myself in sometimes, amongst other things. On the other hand, I know I suck at a lot of things. I like to correct people when they say something I know to be wrong. I can be headstrong many a times, I suck at keeping my room neat and tidy, I am shit at saving money and I eat waaayy too much for my own good. I don't have an awesome voice but I sing anyways. I'm not always a good daughter/sister/girlfriend/friend but I try to be, maybe not as often as I should.

See, the difference is, I know who I am and where I come from. Do you?

Your move.

P/S: Hatred is such a strong word. I'd like to think of it as "tough love". ;)

You're Stephanie and I'm Paulette.

2011-07-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

RIP

14 Sept. 1983 - 23 July 2011

They're just...Gems.

2011-07-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I teach foreign students...mostly Middle Eastern students. The point of this post is to just let you guys in on all the FUN I experience with them...every. damn. day.

........

Me: Alright, where's yesterday's homework?

Ss*: Oh...okay, teacher. No problem, tomorrow, tomorrow.

........

Me: *handing them test papers*

Ss: What's this, teacher? You didn't teach me this. I don't know this.

Me: *explains, explains, explains*

Ss: Okay good. You write for me. Please?

........

Whenever I ask them to write something/do exercises...here are some of the more common excuses...

1. I went to Genting yesterday so I'm tired now. Let me sleep, please.

2. Teacher, I don't have a pen/paper.

3. I'm very dizzy today. I only slept for 2 hours last night.

4. Excuse me teacher, I need to smoke now. *runs out of the classroom*

5. *cellphone ringing* Teacher, this is a call from my country. I have to answer this.

6. No, no. No study today. Just talk. Talk with us, teacher.

There's a bucket-load of excuses I can't even remember anymore.

........

Me: Why are you wearing slippers?

Ss: Because Malaysia is hot./I don't have socks/I don't like wearing shoes.

........

Me: *explains, explains, teaching, teaching.. blablablabla*

Ss: Teacher, where to buy girls here?

........

So there, just some of the awesome daily conversations I have with them. Don't get me wrong, they're not ALL like that. The girls are awesome and there are some boys who are just sooo sweet. Lovee!

*Ss = student/students.

My Man.

2011-06-18T10:11:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY.

In my eyes... you're SUPERMAN.

Whammy.

2011-06-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

My boyfriend's recently started to go the gym and eating healthy. So, now he's lost a gazillion kilos and he's looking kinnnndaa awesome. Inevitably, the girls at his office are starting to notice. He's having fun telling me all the stories of girls flirting with him at the office.

Boyfriend : Yesterday, I had two offers.

Me : Offers for what??

Boyfriend : From girls la. You know...

Me : U-huh...and what did these girls say, exactly?

Boyfriend : Alaa, you know la. They noticed I lost weight and....blablabla (insert trumpet sound).

Me : Ahhh, nice. Yesterday, one of my students asked me to marry him.

Boyfriend : --

teeheeeeee.

I love you bontot!

Girls Just Wanna...

2011-06-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Girls are the awesome-est, most amazing creatures on Earth. We really are. The world comes to a stop when we bat our lashes, men fall to our feet with the snap of our fingers, hurricanes are named after us, we're powerful, we're strong, we're gorgeous and oh-so-sexy and..*brakes screeching*

Phewwhh! Okay, awesome overload. Anyways, most of the time when we get together, women have the ability to talk for hours and hours on end, I'd like to think it's one of our superpowers. Maybe we were born that way, maybe we learnt it from our mothers, maybe aliens programmed us to be that way.

Whatever the case is, by nature, girls just wanna talk and our men can't help but stare and mutter - "What the hell do you people talk about?" Well...not that it's any of your business but we, girls, have plenty to talk about.

1. The OTHER Bitches.

At the top of the list is none other than the other bitches. The ones whom we'd like to think are peering into our awesome little circle, wanting to be one of us. In short- the girls we hate. Be warned, once we've started on this topic, it might possibly take one of us passing out/hale storm/the apocalypse for the conversation to actually stop. The conversation can cover many areas including her boyfriend, her job, her hair, her boobs, her social life, her sex life, what she says on facebook, the words that come out of her mouth, the things we wish we could do to her and the things we wish would fall on her head. Important stuff, you see.

2. The Boyfriend ;)

Of course, what girl doesn't absolutely love to gush about her boyfriend whenever she's with her girlfriends. This conversation however, has many levels and varies according to how long you've known your girl pals for. For example, BFFs would talk about EVERYTHING when it comes to their boyfriends. I mean everything. Girls who haven't known each other for a long time just tend to talk about boring stuff. For some girls, it becomes sort of an unspoken competition. Her boyfriend has to be better than her friends' boyfriends. You know someone like that, don't you?

3. Sex

"Girls talk about everything; size, shape, left or right leaning orientation, length, resemblance to historical figures such as Winston Churchill."

- Lily Aldrin & Robin Scherbatsky (How I Met Your Mother)

I think the quote pretty much sums it all up. Yes, boys. We talk about everything. But not to everyone, we're not idiots. When it comes to talking about sex, we girls only kiss and tell to our best friends. But still, you don't have to worry that much. Most of the time, when a girl talks about her romp in the sack with her man, she plays him up just a tad so that her friends will say "ohhhmagadd, your boyfriend did that?? I wish mine would". So you're probably a porn star in her friends' eyes by now. Just sayin'...

4. Body Issues

When it comes to our bodies, girls are not afraid of talking about it with each other. Nothing is taboo. Weird spots appearing, marks, gaining/losing weight, zits, grey hair, losing hair, stinky feet etc. Most of all, we loooove talking about our periods. But why? It's the same thing every month! Exactly! We Never get bored of it. Every month, you call your best friend to tell her your cramps are killing you and how you're PMS-ing and can't stop eating chocolates and deep-fried foods. The best part is, she listens to you because in a few days, she's gonna call you and tell you the same thing.

5. Mommy/Daddy Issues.

We love this one too. Who else can you call after you've just had a fight with Mom/Dad. Talking about it with other girls just makes us feel soo much better. Plus, they don't just listen, the KNOW what you're talking about and they KNOW how you feel. It's just the best feeling ever.

6. Work Stuff.

This is a no-brainer. Venting about having to work overtime without extra pay, the boss who is fussy, the secretary who thinks she's all that, the bitchy co-worker, the horny co-worker..the list just doesn't end.

7. Hopes and Dreams.

This is quite a vast topic. Numerous smaller issues can fall under this heading. For example; our dream wedding, our dream house, interior decoration, the perfect man, children and children's names (ohh yes, Sir), vacations we might never take, expensive things we can never buy, robbing a bank...heheh. You get the picure.

8. Reality Checks.

This only happens with BFFs. You decide your best friend's boyfriend is a loser, so you tell her you know she can do better. You're not studying/working hard enough and you're falling behind so your best friend slaps you back to reality. That dress makes you look fat, she'll tell it to your face. Those shoes make your feet look horrid, she won't let you buy them. You're spending waaaayy too much on something, she'll tell you to buy it later. ;)

So basically, these are the things we talk about when we're yapping away on the phone, or totally ignoring the boys whenever we say we want to double date*. As you can clearly see, every time we open our mouths, we damn well mean serious business. Hell. Yeah.

S.M.

*Double dating is only an excuse for girls to get together while not making their boyfriends feel left out. Don't believe me? Next time you're on a double date, pay attention to who's doing all the talking ;)

Sex is in the Air.

2011-06-11T23:51:00.000-07:00

I have lost any/all patience to be nice. So I'd like to say I'm sorry for this post because it WILL offend you.

So I'm guessing you've all heard about this new thing called the Obedient Wives' Club (OWC)? If you haven't, shame. Well, this religious group called Global Ikhwan Sdn. Bhd. (they can call it a company all they want, it's a bloody cult if you ask me) have set up a club to promote their belief that wives, who don't service their men well, are the "root of the problem" when it comes to men getting involved in crimes like prostitution, rape and human trafficking. So what they are proposing is; to have wives act like "first class prostitutes" and "whores in bed" every time their husbands get horny and needs a good fucking. This will then "help curb the problem" because "a sexually-satisfied man" won't commit crimes and will be a good husband at home. *APPLAUSE*!!!

BULL.SHIT.

This proposal is totally wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin. Well, let's start with the obvious, shall we?

1. Wife = Prostitute/Whore

I'm not a wife, yet. But I am a woman. I have a mother, sisters and girlfriends whom I love. Do you know what it does to my mind and heart, and not to mention sanity, every time I think about MY FATHER TREATING MY MOTHER LIKE A PROSTITUTE? The media isn't saying it, because they have to be politically correct. Well fortunately, I don't have to be. DO YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT PROSTITUTES HAVE TO DO? Oh that's right, they did say "first class". DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. The prostitution profession came into existence because:

Firstly, men who don't have wives wanted to get laid, so they figured; why not pay for it? and women figured, "I'm hot, I'm sexy and men want to pay me for sex, so why the hell not?"

Secondly, because a gazillion years ago, men decided they wanted to do freaky deaky stuff in the bedroom -- stuff they couldn't possibly imagine doing to their wives.

THAT IS WHY YOU PAY PROSTITUTES.

Because after you strip them off any dignity they have left, you leave a token of appreciation at the end of the night to make them think you were worth it. You don't even have to call in the morning to check on her. That's the deal. Fuck and Forget. Is that what you want women to be reduced to?

So their premise is basically saying that wives have to cater to their husbands' every beck and call, but to what limit? To illustrate my point--picture this, taking a dick up the ass. So, all you nice ladies in your tudungs and jubahs, if your husband wants you to take it up your ass, you'll let them because you're obedient? Last time I checked, that was HARAM. What about S&M stuff? Do you wanna get chained up, tied up, gagged and let your husband, the father of your children, whip your ass and while calling you names like "bitch", "whore", "slut", "cunt"? Oh, you'll do it because God forbid you get a husband who's a leather biter. Well, maybe you'd be fine with that as well, but what if that happens to your daughter? Imagine her soft, fair skin tainted with slashes and bruises all because she has to be obedient to her husband.

2. Blaming wives for errant husbands.

There was an article published in The Star -- a man beat his wife up using a pestle. That's right, a fucking lesung and the report said that it was because she refused to have lunch with him. The women from the OWC beg to differ, they claim that it was because he didn't get any the night before. So, after ALL THOSE YEARS of researching, preventing and protecting women from domestic abuse, the BRILLIANT, educated and oh-so-smart women at the OWC think they have a solution. Wives just need to fuck their husbands more so that they don't get beat up. Awesome. Easy, eh? So every counselling center/shelter for women should just have one simple tagline: No, it's not because YOU MARRIED AN ASSHOLE, it's because you're not putting out. Okay, honey? Now run along home to your husband and give him a good time.

I was never brought up in a family/society/culture that taught me women were beaten up because they were wrong. I've only ever seen that on TV, even that makes me want to puke. So now, ever so suddenly, these people are forcing upon us the fact that every time a wife gets hit on the head and bleeds on the floor in front of her children, it's her fault. Every time children get abused, punched, kicked and raped, let's blame the wife because she failed to spread her legs. Every time a mother loses her child to a brutal crime, wanting to know why, out of all the people on this Earth, why did her child have to be the one who dies? She doesn't have to look far for the reason, she can just blame the woman who couldn't manage to give her man a proper orgasm. That's why your baby died, because someone was horny. So all the while, we were punishing the wrong criminals? Is that it? All the while, what we needed was just to make sure that our men are happy in the sack? Then all our children will be safe? No more teenagers will be raped? No more kidnappings and killings? Awesome.

Where I stand: I do, ever so believe that sex is very important in marriage. We need to reproduce and we need to have a good time, win-win. However, pointing your finger to women needing to be more obedient to men so they won't commit crimes is just stupid. You claim to be educated and well-read but you don't really hear yourselves, do you? Furthermore, I don't think even Religion is a good enough excuse for this. I'm not so good with religion, but I do know that no religion condones treating women the way you have it in your minds.

Clearer picture? Read this: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/6/12/nation/8886422&sec=nation

I especially love the part where they try to explain how they know what prostitutes have to do. I haven't laughed so hard in days. I'd love to know what books she read as a teenager. Grrrr. You sassy minx, you!

Words to Live by.

2011-05-29T04:02:00.000-07:00

....Why fall for bad boys?

Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and suprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he's not for you.

Coup de Grâce

2011-05-19T03:28:00.000-07:00

After what feels like eternity...

I'm done.

(Yay me!)

So now, the question is...

Masters anyone?

Comel-ness.

2011-05-14T06:58:00.000-07:00

Boyfriend: Eh, I nak snow cap laa. Nak try pakai snowcap.

Me: Haa...boleh. Nanti we go look for one k? Adidas ke, Quicksilver ke....

Boyfriend: Anak tudung pun boleh kan?

*I died laughing, kthxbai*

Compare & Contrast.

2011-05-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

It's really scary sometimes how, amidst the broken English and misinterpreted body language, my students are capable of talking some sense into me.

So, I have this guy in my class - he's from Saudi Arabia, in his mid 30's and married with two adorable little boys. His wife's studying here too. Given his age, he's one of the smartest students here and we often talk about life, love, experiences and food (he knows how much I love food and he just goes with it, I guess). Anyways, earlier today, we talked about love and relationships and he asked me a few questions about my past. You know how they say; it's easier to tell a stranger your deepest, darkest secrets, rather than telling your family/best friend? Well, they were so right. I ended up telling him about how my ex married my ex-bestfriend and all that jazz. He listened, and then he commented.

(FYI, English has been repaired for comprehension purposes. Thanks.)

Student: See teacher, this is the problem with this side of the world (referring to places that are not in the middle east). You get to choose your own boyfriends/girlfriends and you end up with too many choices. In the end, you start to compare your choices. So when you know this one girl is no good for you, you change, and you change, and you change. With us, it's different. I didn't get to see my wife until after we were engaged. Even then, I couldn't see her face (it was covered with her burka). Before I got engaged, we weren't allowed to "date"- see other girls, to make our own choices. My family chose the girl I was to marry and that was fine with me because I didn't know the difference. To us, it's normal to meet one girl, and fall in love with her. We didn't have to compare. All we knew was this one girl that we love, and we have to marry. When you have too many choices teacher, this is what happens, but then you only have one choice, what you have to do becomes clear. Teacher, I think if you were living in Saudi, you would have been married a long time ago (chuckles). I know teacher, you are still scared that this will happen to you again, right?

*sighhh*

I've developed a whole new level of respect for their way of life. Brings a whole new meaning to "never judge unless it is certain", huh?

The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round.

2011-05-02T10:42:00.001-07:00

I have always been a frequent user of public transportation for, basically, my whole adult life. Buses, taxis, LRTs, Monorails, KTM trains, you name it, I've been on it (Okay, let's not be dirty now). Reason being, obviously, I don't have my own car yet. For now, it seems to be the most logical solution since money's pretty tight and I can already reach any destination with/without a car, so why bother? Anyways, the point is, I live in Kedah, spent 5 years in Melaka and now, I'm working in PJ. So as you can already guess, that's a whole shitload of bus rides up and down the North-South highway. I've had nothing (much) to complain about so far, but of course, there are a few things that come with using public transportation, namely; the express bus.

The Bad.

1. You have a design/plan a timetable that fits around the bus schedule. You are never on your own time. Plus, Malaysian express buses have a knack of being delayed and the highways are usually jammed up during peak seasons. So, what do you have to do? NOTHING. Wait for the bus, get on it, pray (hard) you arrive on time and hope for the best.

2. You never, NEVER know what type of driver you're gonna get. Oh, I've experienced them all. There's the guy who puffs away on his cigarette, there's the guy who can't stop chatting on the phone and there's the guy who turns on the radio as loud as he can to some shitty channel and expects everyone in the bus to love his selection of dangdut songs. Last but certainly not least, of course, there's the guy who drives too effing slow and his total opposite; the guy who drives like he's handling a Ferrari. In that situation, all I can say is, pray for a safe arrival and REPORT that mafaka to the bus company. That's what I always do. Honourable mentions are: the drivers who honk incessantly, the curse-ers and the sleepyheads who stop the bus 636782 times because they need to snooze.

3. The people who sit next to you. Most buses now have single seats, which is a gift from God, I swear. But most of the time, you'll have to sit next to someone. I don't mean to be rude here but some people are just plain ridiculous. I mean, if you wanna take your shoes off and dangle your feet next to me or talk on the phone like you're the only person in the bus or forget to shower for the past week, BUY YOUR OWN FUCKING CAR. Seriously! Scratch that, here's a cheaper alternative: DEODORANT.

The Good.

Don't get me wrong, there are also the pros of public transportation.

1. You save a whole lot of money. Paying for a bus ticket to and from your destination will cost less than just a one way journey with your car. Plus, you don't have to drive all the way and spend all those hours awake and alert, paying attention to the traffic. On the bus, you just close your eyes, and presto! You're there.

2. It reduces our carbon footprint. Indeed it does! Imagine if more people used the bus. There'd be less cars on the road, which leads to less pollution because we burn less fuel and of course, less traffic jams! Tadaaaa!

3. It really helps you grow as a human being. (Whhhaat?) No, really! Anyone can climb into a car and drive somewhere but it takes courage, street smarts, confidence and a strong sense of independence to make the effort to buy that ticket, be at the station on time, get on the CORRECT bus, and alight where you're SUPPOSED to alight. Not everyone's cut out for that kind of responsibility. Most people say: "Oh, that all sounds so tiring, I think having your own car is better. More comfortable. Easier. Safer." Blablabla... Well, they might be right, but they're also a bunch of pussies.

Safe journey, loves!--No matter how you travel ;)

S.M.

More than you asked for, I bet.

2011-04-30T04:59:00.000-07:00

Well... hello hello. It's good to be back. My last post was in November. NOVEMBER! Crazy. All I can say in my defense is, that it's been a hectic ride up till now, and even that's grossly understated. So buckle up; it's gonna be a looooooooong one.

For those of you who don't know... (if you don't care you shouldn't be reading this in the first place, kan?). Anyways, for those who don't know, I've shifted my horizons and have broaden them to the fullest extent by moving (more like yanking) my life to the big city. I finished my degree in November and I've started working in, wait for it, Selangor, yo!! Well, PJ to be more specific. All that talk about working in Melaka just came to a big full stop for reasons which you will find out about later in this post ;). Patience, my lovelies. So, anyways, I'm working in a language centre in Damansara, teaching English to foreign students. Most of them are from the Middle East. Occasionally, we get enrollments from Japan, Kazakhstan and China. It's all good fun, really. My students are a fun bunch and we always have a good time laughing in the classroom. Although, some days I just feel like strangling them. It's different when you're teaching local students, even if they don't understand a word of English, you can always use words in Bahasa to help them. In my case, most of my students only speak their native languages. How the hell am I supposed to learn Arabic/Kazakh/Japanese/Mandarin to help them? So what do I do? I draw pictures. I must say, I'm getting really good at sketching random stuff e.g. animals, people, emotions, blablabla. You get the picture.

The first few months in PJ were a blur. I didn't have a proper...well, anything! I came for the interview, waited over the weekend, got the job on Monday and started on the same day. Gila!! So I had my work cut out for me. First and most importantly, I had to find an apartment/room. I did find a room to rent after a few days, affordable and near the office. I thanked God for that. The apartment was nice, and the girls who lived there were (kind of) nice as well. But they had a cat and the apartment was crawling with cockroaches!!! CURSES!!! So I told myself this has to be temporary. After working now for a few months, I've become very good friends with one of my colleagues, Avelyn. So...guess what?? We've moved into a brand new apartment, together! It's gonna be awesome! Wait, there's more! To top all the awesome-ness, Mas is gonna come stay there every now and then! LOVEEE! It's not furnished, but it's gorgeeeouuss! More updates on the apartment later as we start furnishing it! Can't wait!!

On a more personal note, I couldn't have gotten through the past few months without the help of my darling friends and of course, the beau. Yes, people. I've got a boyfriend. I know, right? Finally! I adore him to bits and I'm pretty sure he adores me too. Teeheee. He's gorgeous, funny as hell and SMART!! No more losers for me. Baahahah. No really, he's smart, eloquent and I can talk to him for hours. Which is probably why we get along so well. Alright, by now, you're asking yourself, WHAT'S THE FUCKING CATCH? Well, he's not Malay, for one. No, sir. This is nothing new to me and I do not think it's a hugeee problem. An obstacle, definitely. We might not have the same religion or beliefs but we're so alike. I have more things in common with him than I could ever have with any other man out there. Of course, we have our arguments, but that's what makes this feel real. We might have an expiry date, I'm not doubting that, but for now, I know he makes me feel happy, secure and so damn loved. I thank God for him, too. He's largely the reason why I decided to work in PJ. I've had enough of long-distance relationships. So far, I'm not regretting my decision. Plus plus plus points: he has tattoos. Ahhh....bliss ;)

Well, I think that's about it for now. Sorry for the lame updates...I know I'm not a rockstar and only 3 people care about my life but I'm doing this because I haven't written ANYTHING for so long I'm starting to get weird and rusty. So I needed to write something somewhere, and this is the only thing I could think of. TTFN. Chiao, loves!

Steph Morris.

Ink, NOT Mink.

2010-11-06T03:09:00.000-07:00

Loving PETA's Ink, Not Mink series.

What more could a girl ask for? Sigh...

Sigh...

2010-10-29T11:18:00.000-07:00

I now know for certain that KD is sooo comel whenever we watch documentaries on animals on TV.

Observe...

Watching a documentary on Anacondas...

KD : Aafin!! Ape tu? Yang besar tu?

Me : Oh, tu capybara.

KD : Amende tu?

Me : Tah...dia macam beaver kot.

KD : Oh, tapi dia ada kaki la??

Me : $%^&**%$#@#$%^&*%$#@&^%$# BEAVER TAKDE KAKI LA PULAAKKKK!!

LMAO.ROTFLMAO.LOL.LOLLL!

Btw, I googled capybaras later and found out that they're NOT like beavers. They're rodents. Huge ass rodents and are the biggest mammals in South America.

See, we ALL learnt something today. Nggeeeee!

Papa, can you hear me?

2010-10-23T11:36:00.001-07:00

Spice-saayyhhh!

Don't worry honey, Papa should be able to hear you loud and clear now..

Regrets, I've had a few...

2010-10-18T04:15:00.001-07:00

...this ain't one of them.

Sape tah yang nak PUBLIC APOLOGY tu??

choyh.

Drumroll

2010-09-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

MALAYSIA!!!

Selamat Hari Malaysia, loves!!

teeheeheee..

Stick it where the Sun don't shine.

2010-09-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

Dearly DePORTed,

We are gathered here to witness your stupidity.

Have you ever considered the fact that maybe..just maybe...you're not good enough for us?

Think about it.

Besides, no one's twisting your arm, go back if you want to. My country can do without a few shiny trinkets and glossy paper. Ouh, and you can take your so-called "knight in shining armour" with you. I'm sure we can live with one less idiot.

BTW, just wondering..if ze business is doing sooo well, and you're indeed "enriching" our economy as you claim you are, then how come 200 bucks is an issue? Oh sorry, 400 bucks, cuz u gotta pay for that thing on your leash.

...aaannd.. you blame the crappy administration?? NO ONE talks smack about my government but the people who have bloody well earned the right to do so, the people who stood in line and voted, the people whose blood spilled for this country's freedom and sovereignty. WE are Malaysians.

You do not have the courtesy, the grace, or the guts to be a citizen of MY country.

Puh-leasee...

BTW, the 31st of August is NOT Malaysia's birthday. On the 31st of August 1957, MALAYA gained independence from the British. And zen, on the 16th of September 1963, Malaya joined Sabah, Sarawak and Singapore to form MALAYSIA. Singapore left the federation in 1965 to became an independent state. Kapish? Go learn our history first, okay?

Who says I'm not patriotic? teehee..

Everything needs Strategy.

2010-08-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

So... I'm guessing (hoping) you've all heard of this little establishment...

If you haven't, well, it's okay...just stick to your nasi campur and warungs and stuff. (Yes offence)

They have all this raw food (chicken, beef, lamb, seafood, veggies) marinated in a million different ways and displayed as such...

and zen, when you've taken your pick...you grill/boil them yourself like this...

Genius ain't it?

...and before I forget, it's served as a buffet so once you've paid, free-flow baby.

I've been to buffets before but Seoul Garden is very much different. Ask anyone who's been there and they'll tell you the same thing.

The fact that you cook your own meal makes you forget how much you're really putting into that tummy of yours. Before you know it, you're bloated as a pumpkin. Trust me, been there. A friend of mine actually blew chunks after eating there. True story...

So, like I always say..there should always a strategy for everything you do and here are my strategies/tips for a meal at Seoul Garden. I dub thee, Death by Barbeque *shivers*

Pre-Death by Barbeque (DBB)

1. Plan ahead with your friends. DBB cannot be a spur of the moment thing.

2. Save up! Obviously you need moolah and DBB ain't cheap. Prices vary according to outlets. Do check before you go.

3. Book a table if you think there's gonna be a rush of people especially during weekends and currently, during buka puasa.

On the day of DBB

1. If you're having DBB for lunch, I suggest you skip breakfast but don't keep your tummy empty!! Drink Milo or have a light sandwich. You'll eat better if your tummy's not completely empty.

2. If you're having DBB for dinner, then have breakfast followed by a very verrryy light lunch. A salad/sandwich would be good. Remember, it's all about creating space. Loads and loads of space in your tummy.

3. Make sure you wear loose-fitting clothes and pants. Ladies, No tight shirts, and absolutely NO TIGHT JEANS. You're gonna end up busting your zipper at the table or worst, you might cut the blood circulation your brain because girlfriend, you are gonna bloat like no one's business. I'm dead serious.

During DBB

1. Pace yourself. You don't have to grill everything at once. It IS a buffet so you ARE allowed to take food more than once, ya'know? So chill, take your time.

2. You've paid for the food, so try everything once (unless you detest it or you're allergic to it).

3. Cook it well! Don't get impatient and start eating everything under-cooked. You're responsible for preparing your meal, so you're responsible for whether or not you get sick after eating it. Kapish?

4. ...aannd do not waste! Take what you need, if you've taken more, then try to finish it because Seoul Garden charges for wastage - RM5 for every 100gm wasted. Chingg!!

5. For smokers, do what I do, take ciggie breaks in the middle of your meal. It helps!! But don't pause for too long, because after 20 minutes your tummy will send signals to your brain telling your body that you're full. Then, the fun stops. :(

Post-DBB

1. If you're still standing, Hurrraahhhhh! The hardest part is over!

2. Walk slowly towards your car and head home. Shopping is not a good idea after DBB. Just. Head. HOME. Why didn't you shop before you ate, hmm?

3. Take a dump. I know, TMI. But, seriously. Take a dump.

4. Avoid Seoul Garden for at least another month or two if you know what's best for your body AND your wallet. ;))

Well, that about sums it all up. Good Luck!!!

Teehehee.

S.M.

They Rawk Each Other's Sawks Off!

2010-08-16T03:08:00.000-07:00

So, this is my take on the Top 10 celebrity couples whom I think have hot, hot sex. Let's start from ze bottom, shall we?

TEN.

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore.

I just recently watched "The Scarlet Letter" and yes, Demi was lookin' pretty awesome wayy back in 1995. Let's face it, she still looks hawt today and Ashton is Ashton, what more can I say? I'm bettin' these two make sweet, sweet romance in the sack ;))

NINE.

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian

In my opinion, this one's on Khloe. She openly talks about her sexual desires and what she's done in the bedroom. If you've watched episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, you know what I mean. They can't keep their hands off of each other and are always touchy feely whether they realise it or not. So yeah, that's hot!

EIGHT.

Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi

Come on..they look like two people who like to get freaky deaky in the bedroom. Well, I think so.. Yumm.. :P

SEVEN.

Djimon Hounsou and Kimora Lee Simmons

My fav couple ;) how can they not be on the list? She's friggin' tall + mega fabulous and he's, well..dashing...in a very exotic, mysterious kind of way. I like to imagine what they do, so yeah, that's why they're on the list *wink, wink...

SIX.

Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox

Okay, first of all, she's Megan Fox. Second of all, he ain't that cute, so how else do you think he got Megan friggin' Fox to marry him? `Nuff said.

FIVE.

Heidi Klum and Seal

Ughh, I Loooveee them! The fact that she's a Victoria Secret Angel and he's got the voice of an angel and you don't know what she sees in him..bla bla blaa.... I'm very very sure they make beautiful, melodious music together in the bedroom. Raawwrr...

FOUR.

Katy Perry and Russell Brand

You know that feeling you get, when you look at a couple and say to yourself "I bet they have great sex" So yeah, this is what I always say to myself when I look at these two. I think they have hawt, steamy, tantric sex. Ooo yeah, I said tantric.

THREE.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Have you seen Mr. & Mrs. Smith?? Then you know what I mean. Remember that fight scene they had in the living room? Rough and tumble, baby...Aiiyaiyaiiii...

TWO.

Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson

He's a goth god and she's a tv vampire. How awesome is that?? Plus, have you seen his video clips?? If you haven't, go download them, it's like cheap porn on steroids. I bet they tie each other up and go all latex on each other. Ahhh, my imagination is running with me...daayuumm!

ONE.

Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin

This real-life engaged couple really, really knows how to turn on the heat on screen and off it! I watched their first sex scene in True Blood, and I still get goosebumps in the right places everytime I watch it again. All their other love making scenes in the series are equally hawt, if not better! Maybe it's the whole vampire sex thing, but whatever it is, they are numero Uno on my list. :))

Honourable mentions:

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony

John Travolta & Kelly Preston

Jessica Alba & Cash Warren

Ben Affleck & Jennifer Gardner

Think before you Shag.

2010-08-13T12:59:00.000-07:00

You know that feeling, that WTF! moment you get very early (or late) in the morning, when you wake up (preferably sober) and there's someone beside you, snoring away...you may or may not know this person (that's your business, I don't judge). Well, here's a few things you can do to avoid these moments.

Think BEFORE you SHAG.

1. If you're scared of STD's, and you should be, slap on the friggin' condom. They're cheap and available everywhere. For heaven's sake, if you're having sex, then you shouldn't be ashamed of buying one over the counter. Keep a packet in your handbag if you're out to get a lil' sumthin' sumthin'. Keep a packet on your nightstand/in your drawer. There is NO RULE saying that the dude is responsible for safe sex. It should be your responsibility.

2. If you're pro-life, meaning you're against abortion, then get a diaphragm, a cervical cap, spermicide, The Pill, two layers of condoms, ANYTHING. Don't leave your fate hanging in the balance. More often than not, lady luck's not gonna be on your side. Newsflash: Condoms ARE NOT 100% effective. Period.

3. If you've slept with this person before, and you dread doing it again, then you shouldn't be sleeping with him. Ever.

4. If you're embarrassed about being naked in front of the dude, other than in bed, i.e. taking showers together or changing in front of him, then you shouldn't be shagging him in the first place.

5. If he makes you feel like a cheap whore, in a bad way, then you shouldn't be sleeping with him. (Yes, there is a good way, only some men know how to do that. teeehehe.)

6. If this man is not your boyfriend and he has certain features that you don't like. For example; bad breath, body odour, kisses like a duck, can't make you orgasm for nuts, either get him to do better or walk away. If he is your boyfriend, do something about it.

Get it?

Got it?

Good.

Happy shagging,

S.M.

Why am I talking about this?

Because you're not.

Inevitable, I guess...

2010-08-11T09:53:00.001-07:00

Okay, *deep breath...*

I don't want us to end.

*sigh....

Family Business.

2010-07-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

Adding to the massive empire that is, The Kardashians.

Behold...

Oh yes, boys and girls, that's Kendall Jenner looking effing hot!

Careful boys, I think she's still a minor. Teeheheee ;))

Sheesshh. Tak cukup celebrities lagi ke rumah diorang tu? Still, dia cantik.

For now...this'll do.

2010-07-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today, I remembered what it felt like to have you around all the time.

To know that you were always there to help me with shit I can't, for the life of me, understand.

I remembered that when you were around, things were just...done. Just like that. I liked that feeling.

Right now...just for this moment.

I miss you, terribly.

...and THAT'S the most honest I've been with myself since you left. Amen.

All that Glitters...

2010-07-10T03:50:00.000-07:00

Giuseppe Zanotti Embellished Sandals

RM 6,390.00

Gila.

Eventually...

2010-07-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."--

Iris Simpkins, The Holiday (2006).

Pretty much sums it all up. To the damn letter.

Not. Cool.

2010-07-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

There you go again, still digging, I see.

Just when I thought you couldn't dig any deeper, you went ahead and proved me wrong. Thank you for that, I now have something to laugh about again.

Remember how you claimed to be strong, confident, beautiful, amazingly amazing and all that other bull crap? Finally, through all that, you ended up with a man who beats up women. How's that for hypocritical bullshit?

The worst part is, you know the stories about this man. YOU FUCKING KNOW! Why? Because he used to date your friend. Remember? She told you the stories. All the stories. The stories that made you cringe. Made you hug her with sympathy. Made you tear up. Remember? Very uncool of you, darling.

To top it all off, you broke the very first rule of feminism. You do not date your friend's ex boyfriend. No matter what, we girls just don't do that. You don't see us coming after your leftovers now, do you? Well, considering the fact that your exes were never up to our standards, that's quite easy to understand. But that's beside the point.

Oh and I'm sorry, does he fit your long checklist of men that you've been bragging about? Let's see, I only remember two, the rest were just absurd.

1. Non-smoker - Whooppss, he smokes like a chimney.

2. Traditional and won't "touch" you before marriage - Dang it! He loves to fuck, doesn't he? I've heard stories. Burrrnnnn.

And honey, if you want to keep something a secret, don't blab it to the biggest blabber in the classroom. Wrong. Move.

You really have hit the lowest of the low and I have no doubt that you can go lower.

Keep on digging.

This time, don't prove me wrong.

With Love, always,

S.M

Fear of the Unknown.

2010-07-04T05:31:00.000-07:00

There is this common misconception that Men are fearless when it comes to sexual intercourse and that Women are the careful ones, the emotional ones. Well, this isn't necessarily true, though. There are some things that we women do that scare the shit out of men when it comes sex. So, ladies...

1. You forgo protection.

Most of us think that men don't want to use condoms during sex because it hinders the "full" experience of it all. Well, some men might say that but then you should be smart enough to know that these are not the men you ought to be getting jiggy with. The men you should be sleeping with feel immense pressure when it comes to having unprotected sex because of the consequences which might follow, i.e. them becoming baby daddies or (God forbid) STD's. So, girls, even if they don't say so, strap on that raincoat, seriously.

2. Post-coital commitment talk.

Men cringe at the thought of their women talking about commitment right after engaging in steamy, hot sex. You telling him that you want a June wedding, 3 children and a penthouse somewhere in the future really does give him the creeps mostly because, after sex, they really want to just sleep it off knowing that they've just given you the best orgasm of your life. Thank your lucky stars that he even wants to cuddle in the first place.

3. You make him your bitch.

Yes, we all love the occasional rough romp in the sack and let's admit it, all the dirty talk really does get us off. However, you have to know that there is a limit. For example, saying "Oh, yeah baby, harder, harder" is very very different from saying "Come on, you bastard, you can fuck me harder than that. What are you a pussy??!!". Get it? So keep the trash talking at bay while having yourselves a jolly good time. He still wants to know that he is in control, so give him that, at least you'll get some good lovin' out of it as well.

4. You think he's a porn star.

If you are having/have had sex, you've most definitely watched porn. Don't think for a second that you're gonna get the same thing you see in those videos. Your boyfriend/husband might not be hung, or that skilled or talented in bed. So don't expect him to do things that he can't do. Excessive demands in the bedroom are one of the things that turn a man off. He likes to think that he knows what he's doing and he's giving you the time of your life. Don't pin your expectations on a porn star who's hung like a horse and does stunts in the bedroom that make your knickers do back flips. Appreciate him for what he's willing to do. Experimentation is fine, but if he doesn't like it, then stop. Sex is a two-way street and he needs to enjoy it as much as you do.

So girls, these are just the few that I've come up with. If any of you know more, please please please comment so that we girls know how you feel about certain things. And yes, you can post as anonymous.

Happy Sex-ing!

S.M.

Grow a Pair!

2010-06-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

So, I decided to give my friend, Atan*, a call...cuz I missed him, and wondered of he was around so we could hang out. I called, but he didn't answer. I received a call back a few minutes later...

Me : Hello!

His Girlfriend : Sapa nih? (oh yes, very very bitchy tone)

Me : (very shocked that it was her calling, but that's okay) Oh, Tipah* eh ni?

His Girlfriend : Oh... Fina eh? jap eh.. (from bitchy to guilty in 2 seconds. Dayyuum!)

WHAT THE FRAAAAK?

Dear Men,

If at any point of time in your relationship, you Girlfriend decides to answer your phone calls whenever a girl's name pops up on the screen, consider yourself pussy whipped and that your balls no longer belong to you and are safely tucked in her purse.

Just sayin'...

*names have been altered to protect those involved in this travesty.

We Need a Resolution.

2010-06-24T03:36:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine wrote something about the Malaysian movie scene in his blog and it triggered something in my head. Funny how that happens. ;)

Actually, I have talked about this, but I figured. Nyehh, let's just keep talking about it until someone does something about it. Savvy?

Read his post here.

See, in my opinion, the reason why the Malaysian movie scene can't be anymore than it already is, is because of our incessant need to preserve the minds of our younger generation and also to not pollute our culture."Kita bukan mat salleh, ingat boleh buat suke hati ke? Kita ni orang Melayu! Ada adat, ada budi bicara, ada sopan santun!" And it is that kind of thinking that put us here in the first place, and that place, is the crapper. It is this attitude that programs us to fall in love with cheap slapstick comedies such as Atoi or movies about fast cars or our oh-so-beloved rempits (oh, don't get me started on this.)

Secondly, the reason why we're so lagging behind in this industry is the fact that we've been inherently programmed to NOT think outside the box lest we be penalised. Think about it. We make a movie about politics- we get slapped with the ISA. We make a movie about sex- the chances of that movie making it to the silver screen in Malaysia is slim to none and let's face it, the government won't approve of anything with sex in it, unless it happens in Harian Metro or Kosmo! or Mastika. Sheeshh. We make a movie about religion - well, remember the late Yasmin Ahmad's "Muallaf"? 'Nuff said. Even Singapore thought that was a great movie. Muallaf opened in S'pore TWICE. Yup, twice. Oh no wait, they did screen it in Malaysia AFTER she passed away. Too little too late, my friends. Allah bless her soul.

It is this cheap appreciation for honest-to-God movies like these that get us nowhere in the eyes of the world. Because it's not only about movies. Think about it, if you can't appreciate topics such as politics, religion or sex in movies, what does that say about you as a human being? What does that say about us as a society? Are we the type of people who sweep everything under the carpet in hopes that no one ever brings it up again? Well, that's what we're showing everyone.

And please, stop harping on culture and adat sopan santun. We know our limits. We're matured enough to think about what's wrong and what's right. No, I'm not saying we're ALL saints. I'm just saying, don't be so quick to assume that every time a teenager watches Sex and the City, he/she is immediately going to try being promiscuous. Puh-lease. If someone wants to have sex/smoke/get drunk/wear skimpy clothes, it's not because of the movies. I can bet you that!

Come on, grow up.

Funny thing.

2010-06-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

I was thinking...we have many many many mutual friends on Facebook, don't we?

Well, by that logic, in order to read your Facebook statuses and ramblings (just in case I haven't laughed my ass off all week), I'd just need to seek help from any one of our mutual friends. and let's face it, they'd be more than willing. ;)

So, again, by that logic, you'd have to block out ALL of our mutual friends so that I wouldn't be able to read said statuses. Am I correct? Woah!! How many friends would that be?

Another option would be to just make everything private so that NO ONE can read it.

Better yet, delete all your friends so it'll just be like you're keeping an online diary. On Facebook.

*gasp!* You know what would be an even better option?

Delete your fucking account.

Keep a journal instead.

Just sayin'...

A Friendly Reminder.

2010-06-21T02:21:00.001-07:00

I love witnessing the spectacle of someone digging herself a grave. A grave so deep that it would take her forever to find her way back to the surface.

Yes, I am talking about you.

Honey, I get it, you're defending yourself. And no, it's most definitely not wrong. I'd do it too if I were in your position.

But you see, what you're doing is what our forefathers dubbed "menggali kubur sendiri". Get it? The more you talk/post something online, the deeper you dig and let's face it, you're in waaaayyy deeper than you can handle. With every word you say, every character you type, you're shaving away your dignity piece, by painful piece and as a fellow female, I cannot let you do this to yourself. Well, someone has to be the smart one here, clearly, it's not you.

Why am I saying this? Well, because no matter how big of an idiot you are, we girls still have to stick together. You know? So yes, I do wanna help you, really. Because sweetheart, here are a few things you did wrong;

1. Any sane person knows that the more you keep trying to convince people that you are not desperate, that's how much more desperate you look.

2. Claiming that you are confident, strong, beautiful and independent every single damn day on your posts, really does make you sound weak and pathetic.

3. You so proudly claim that you cannot be controlled by anyone other than the Almighty God Himself and yet, with every single blow from us mere mortals, you seem to have broken piece by piece of your sorry life. (Seriously? Blocking me from your Facebook account? Shheessshh. Last time I checked, I ain't God.)

4. Your English is atrocious.By that reason alone, please spare us the nightmare of having to correct your spelling and grammar in our heads. Even more so, stop humiliating yourself dear ENGLISH TEACHER. (BTW, there is no such thing as being too trustful. Just sayin'...)

The list can go on for hours and hours, but you see, I still mean it, I do wanna help you. I shall stop here.

I know your battle plan. Play the oh-so-vulnerable victim, and see who sympathises with you. Brilliant! Paint me to be the bitch, the slut who sleeps with any walking dick I find. Go ahead. But you see, all these things you say about me are, well, true. So kudos! You're killing me by telling everyone that I am exactly who I claim to be. Not so brilliant after all, huh? Honey, the difference between you and me, I don't mind paying my dues. Do you? I'm not the one harping about religion and God when in truth, I know I am a sinner. Do you? Was it not you who wanted a traditional man who wouldn't "touch" you before marriage when you've oh so clearly been touched. Touched again and again and again. So, do you really, really want to play this game with me? Careful, darling. You've covered yourself with gallons of gasoline and now you're planning to light a match. I am one fired up woman you do not want to mess with. Just a friendly tip.

So, do yourself a favour and stop talking. Stop retaliating. Stop pretending that you can actually win in this situation. You do not have the stuff it takes to actually be a bigger Bitch than I already am (a title which you so proudly bestowed upon me and I even more proudly accepted). So, please. I am letting you walk away from this unscathed, in one piece and with your dignity intact.

The Bitch,

S.M.

Reel 'em in!

2010-06-21T01:59:00.000-07:00

I'd watch it again. and again.

Epic.

One word.

Sexaaayyh!

In a Nutshell.

2010-06-15T04:13:00.000-07:00

"Lady GaGa is a woman. She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's beyond refreshing, most theatrical performer of our generation and she changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners."

-Kurt Hummel, Glee S01E20.

Yea, what he said.

Skeletons.

2010-06-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their skeletons in the closet.

A secret indulgence.

One you can never take pride in. Because no one could possibly understand.

What is it that you love to do behind closed doors?

Or better yet, What would you do if you had 100% assurance that no one would ever ever ever know?

What do you do/ Choose to do if you were sure no one would ever find out?

Leave your replies in the comment box. And yes, you are absolutely encouraged to remain anonymous.

This is going to be fun ;))

S.M

Imagine.

2010-06-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try

No hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries

It isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die for

And no religion too

Imagine all the people

Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions

I wonder if you can

No need for greed or hunger

A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people

Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one

-John Lennon.

Snort.Snort.

2010-06-03T11:08:00.000-07:00

It was love at first sight, wasn't it?

You tried it once, and now you're hooked.

That soft "ding" you hear whenever you get a new notification. Ahh, music to the ears. A sight for sore eyes at the end of a long day...well, any day, really.

Face it, you're a Facebook addict.

However, some of us love it more than others do. Myself included. And this, gives me solid credibility and confidence to write this post. ;)

I dub thee, the Facebook Whores.

1. You enjoy reading every detail of a person in his/her profile. In the event that a person forgets or leaves any detail out on purpose, you make little comments in your head about how this person is an idiot for doing so. You literally hate him/her for neglecting to complete their profile.

2. You crack your head day and night, trying to find the right sentence/catch phrase/part of a song/quote/fun fact/horrible news/good news to write as your status in Facebook. If no one comments/likes the status, you change it to a cooler one. You keep on changing it until you get some sort of response.

3. If you're single, you live for the thrill of looking at a person's relationship status and,clicking on the name of his/her other half. Then you curse at the fact that his/her other half's profile and photos are private. Now, your finger is just itching to click on the "ADD AS FRIEND" button just so you can see what they talk about. oh, and also to stalk their lovey dovey photos. The best part is, if you're friends with them, there's the "See wall-to-wall" option.

4. If you're in a relationship, you stalk the pages of other people who are also in a relationship, just to see if they're are as annoyingly in love as you are with your other half. And then, you start to compare wall posts. The "See wall-to-wall" option comes in handy in this case, too. Next, you look at nauseating photos of other couples, just to make sure yours are more nauseating.

5. You stalk the pages of the people you normally can't stand in real life, i.e. your "Frienemies"... just to laugh at the things they say on Facebook. Especially their statuses.

6. You use Facebook to keep track of the Ex.

7. You have multiple accounts so you can add someone you hate, so you can carry out activity #5.

8. You change your relationship status to "married" or "widowed"...and you do it just for kicks so that people will ask you, "OMG, what? Explain!" The more people comment, the more popular you feel and out of the millions of people on Facebook, oddly, you feel special. Doinks.

9. Filling out the "About Me" section on the left side of you profile is a daunting task. Because let's face it, it has to be something cool, yo!

10. Your profile picture has.got.to.kick.ass! It can't just be a random photo one would put on Friendster or MySpace. THIS.IS.FACEBOOK. So, whenever you're out with friends, or with your significant other, you can't wait to get that perfect shot for your profile picture. Nay, you actually pose and tell yourself "oh yeah, this is gonna make a killer profile picture".

11. The first question you ask someone after meeting them for the first time, "Hey, give me your e-mail, I'll add you in Facebook". If that other person says he/she doesn't have a Facebook account, you look at them as if they've just spoken to you in Swahili.

....and last but not least...

12. It's torture if you don't get access to Facebook at least once a day and the thing that bothers you the most is that you're worried what your "followers" might think if you don't update your status. "OMG, they might think I don't care about them." Sheesssh.

Love me or hate me, Whores...but you know I'm right..

S.M.

Quick Question.

2010-06-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

What would drive a person to cheat on someone they love?

I've cheated before, no doubt about that. I had a valid reason. Don't believe me?

My boyfriend was a jobless, future-less, drug addict and I was faithful to him for 2 years. I snapped because he ended up in prison for 3 months. Still feel the need to argue with me?

But this ain't about me.

Boys and girls, I want to know YOUR reason for cheating on someone.

What would drive you to break the Cardinal Rule of every relationship, i.e. cheat on your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband?

Leave your replies in the comment box. If you want to remain anonymous, by all the means, do so. I live for the mystery.

Kisses, loves!

S.M

I won....again.

2010-06-01T04:51:00.000-07:00

Fellow sinners,

Once again, things have worked their way out on their own. Turns out, I didn't have to stab anyone. I kept my hands clean while the one and only, great Universe carried out a plan it has plotted since the beginning of time. I didn't even have to move a finger. Well, that's not true. It did require a lot of tweets and status changes, but all in all, a good run.

Here are a few things you should know when trying to mess with me, and it's been proven to be true. You can ask my friends. Heck, ask my Mum. She knows too. Well, here it is;

1. I will never scream at you or try to make you feel bad for what you have done/will do to me. I believe the Universe can scream louder. ...and it has.

2. I will never slap/stab/strangle/hurt you in anyway because I know that'll just get me in trouble. I believe the Universe can slap/stab/strangle/hurt you more than I could ever be able to. ....and it has. How does that slap taste like, bitch?

3. I ALWAYS let things run its own course. My friends are always telling me to get even, but I never feel the need to. Because as long as YOU were the only who has done something wrong, then YOU will be the only one who is punished. The high road will forever be my option.

4. Angels really are watching over me. My dad said so. I thank him everyday for saying that because I know it to be true now. What can I say? Third time's a charm.

5. You really are whore/slut/bitch/cunt and you deserve what you got.

The difference now is, my darling, I'm not the only one who concedes to the fact that you're a whore and a half. Ahh yes, people talk, sweetie, you should know that.

Cheerio, dah-ling...it's been a blast.

S.M

Oh, honey...that's not what I said.

2010-05-31T07:00:00.000-07:00

Here it is...

Things your ex OR your current girlfriend/wife has said to you and what she really means when she says it.

1. I'm just not good enough for you. You really do deserve better.

Translation: I deserve better. I seriously do not see us together in the future. I wouldn't want to settle for something less, when I can find someone wayyy hotter/smarter/richer/better in bed.

2. It's not you, it's me.

Translation: It's not me, it's definitely you.

3. I don't think I'm marriage material. I'm just not ready to commit. I don't think I'll ever be ready.

Translation: Oh, I would love to be in a committed relationship, and someday, get married and have children. Just NOT with you.

4. (Looking at a random hot guy) Oh look honey, wouldn't you say he looks nice?

Translation: OMFG, he's hot!!! Why can't YOU look more like that?

5. (Planning a wedding) I want an extravagant wedding, an exquisite dress, custom-made shoes, a 10-tier wedding cake, a brand new car, a house, a 4-week honeymoon in Europe and all those other things that I know you can't afford.

Translation: Sorry, no translation available. she really does want all those things and the more you can't afford it, the more enticing it looks to her.

6. Honey, let's skip the foreplay tonight. I just want you so bad!

Translation: No girl skips foreplay. This can either mean that she doesn't enjoy it with you, or you're a total booty call, which means that your girlfriend is a serial whore. Just sayin...

7. Awww, how cute do you look in your flip-flops and cargo shorts? My boyfriend's so awesome!

Translation: Seriously, you're wearing that for our date tonight? When/If we get married, I'm giving you lessons on how to dress up!

8. Baby, Amy's boyfriend bought her somethingreallyexpensivebutamazinglyawesome for their anniversary! Oh, she's so lucky.

Translation: You better get me something wayyy more awesome than that for OUR anniversary, you bum!

9. Do I look fat in this?

Translation: Tell me I look pretty, because I've been getting ready for the past hour just to impress you.

and.......

10. I love you.

Translation: She really does love you, she thinks you're awesome and she wants you to be the father of her children.

Cheers,

S.M

Running already, I see...

2010-05-30T10:43:00.000-07:00

So many things to say,

So many hopes and dreams to squash,

So many souls to condemn,

So very little time.

Will be right back, Sinners.

Mark My Words.

Truly Diff'rent.

2010-05-29T02:34:00.000-07:00

R.I.P

GARY COLEMAN

(FEBRUARY 8, 1968 - MAY 28, 2010)

Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis? ;)

Vini. Vidi. Vici.

2010-05-29T01:41:00.000-07:00

I'll have to admit, I thought I was going to be just another tournament.

Looking at the teams that have registered, I thought we'd definitely be able to break into the Quarter-finals. At most, make it to the Semi-finals. However....

After screwing up my speech during the second round, I didn't think we'd have a chance. But we won that round. Things started to look better. But then again...

We lost the fourth round. Damn it! The next round was supposed to be silent. I was starting to accept the fact that we might not break after all. I'm sorry guys, I blew it. This time, it's definitely my fault.

Come Break Night..

"...and breaking 5th....KBM MOSBY!!!"

Oh, thank God..We broke!

There was still no reason to celebrate yet, we still had the Quarter finals to worry about.

And then Azim said to me, "I wanna see you win Arau Open. So I can die happy". Jeez, thanks for the pressure, much? Yeah, piece of cake...no problem, yo!.... NOT!

Quarters was versus IIUM. Quite undoubtedly, the most annoying and ignorant team in the tournament. Motion : This House Would Not Protect Greece's Economy. We were the Affirmative and we knew jack shit about the topic. God bless Noel and his WikiBrain. During the debate, the IIUM team kept on screaming "Shame! Shame!". Their complete lack of vocabulary skills annoyed me to the core. To add to it, they talked as loudly as I did DURING my speech. The nerve!!! Noel snapped, I snapped and more importantly, Addy snapped. Holy crap, they're annoying. Right there and then, I decided that if we lose to this team, I'd shoot myself. We debated our hearts out and yes, we won. S-H-A-M-E on you!

We sailed through the Semi-finals. Motion : TH Supports an Electoral System Based on Proportional Representation. No, we didn't win because the other team sucked, but because we were mostly running on adrenalin. This was my favourite round of the tournament. I was actually sure we were going to win. The finals was so close, we could see it, and we wanted it bad! and plus, I had to make sure Azim dies happy. LOL.

And then came finals. My worst nightmare had come true. We were up against UT Mara Shah Alam. The titans of the debating scene in M'sia. Oh dear God, help us through this. We were the Negative. Somehow, NOT being the Affirmative makes me feel a lot better. Motion : THW Command South Korea Armed Forces to Seek Military Reprisals Against North Korea.

Noel was SUPERB!

Addy was AWESOME!

I was pretty confident at that point. However, UT Mara had some convincing points as well. This was going to be tough. My stomach did flips every time I think about the results and it didn't help that we had to eat dinner first, listen to the BM finals first and a bunch of speeches. Ughh, I was a nervous wreck!

...the Champion for the English category of AROPSDEC 2010 is...

Universiti Teknologi Mara Kampus Bandaraya Melaka!

I couldn't believe my ears. Actually, I was pretty sure that I was in complete shock until Addy grabbed my shoulders and yelled "Finz, WE WON!!! WE WONN!!!"

Tears almost streamed down my face...but I held it in.

The moment I held that trophy in my hands, then it became real, only then did it not seem like a dream.

Noel and Addy, I'm truly honoured that we won this together! If I were allowed to choose when I wanted to win, and who I wanted my team mates to be, I would've chosen this exact moment and the both of you as the ones I share this with. Jebus is ours!!

Azim, thanks for being there throughout all the losses, the heartaches and the bitching I supplied in every tournament. You're the best and this trophy is as much yours as it is ours...you're truly a gem.

credits to Areej for the photo.

Psycho!

2010-05-14T03:28:00.000-07:00

I have this nagging, annoying, stomach-tugging feeling that I might stab you one day...and enjoy it.

I'm just sayin...

Is THAT the Best You've Got?

2010-05-13T13:37:00.000-07:00

There are moments in life when certain events occur that make you stop and think; Oh, wait…this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. Somehow, somewhere, something goes wrong and you’re forced to stop dead in your tracks to recover, to heal and to reflect. If you deny that this has ever happened to you, then you’re either a toddler or you’re too old to even remember. Because the truth is, everyone goes through it. Be it a substantial period of hardship, or even a moment’s worth of distress. We’ve all seen its face...

…and we all think that it is the ugliest thing ever. Ever.

We come from different walks of life so that provides for different lifestyles, different needs, different expectations and altogether, different experiences. Therefore, what I find distressing/disturbing or what I would describe as being in a state of adversity would be totally different from what your opinion might be on the issue. For example, not being able to complete a particular assignment or task might be applicable to a student, perhaps, one who has nothing else to think about other than his studies. On the other end of the spectrum, not being able to provide for one’s family, to put food on the table or even to pay the bills might be the problem faced by a jobless, divorced mother of 6 children. You get the picture, don’t you?

Life is a rollercoaster, darling. Sometimes you’re up and the next minute you’re down. Don’t let it beat you.

Why do people keep saying that? I mean, is that supposed to make you feel better? FYI, rollercoasters are fun. Being knee-deep in shit, however, is no trip to Disneyland. Sheesh. Well, it doesn’t make me feel any better. It doesn’t even bandage the wound. What I’m saying is that, there is no “one size fits all” phrase that you can say to any Peter, Paul or Mary whenever their facing some agonizing times. The fact is; nobody handles any one situation the same way as other people do. Human beings are unique and so are our solutions to our problems.

That’s just the thing now isn’t it? The simple fact that we do go through times of hardship symbolizes the responsibility that we have to shoulder on as human beings. What? Did you really think we were put here, on this piece of land, so that we could go on with life without experiencing how precious it is? How frangible life can be? Having to struggle constantly reminds us that we have to remain vigil. To not take life for granted, to not miss opportunities, to not be complacent as life passes us by while we reap its benefits. No, there must be a price to pay. I believe so.

This isn’t for the faint-hearted. LOL.

Being in a state of adversity is like going through a tumble in your washing machine—very, very uncomfortable and you get a banging headache right after. It gets even harder when accompanied by one’s capricious refusal to acknowledge the fact that there is a problem present, and there needs to be a countering proposal. I mean, really, life throws a curve ball and you’re just going to sit there and hope that it misses you? Jeez, what a pussy.

Life’s like that, you know…it won’t let you rest. That’s a given. Ahh, but beware, the second you start doubting your ability to straighten the mess out, that’s when the real problem starts. Oh ye of little faith… Never. Never doubt your ability to find your way out of something that causes you pain and suffering. One should never allow one’s self to be crippled with self-pity and self-loathing. Come on, you’re better than that and you damn well know it!

A man is judged by the length and size of his penis. NOT!

How you overcome your state of dilemma is ultimately the measure of your will to keep on going, to keep on living and a testament to your courage to screw life in the ass and telling it to “take it like a man!” Well, that really is the point, isn’t it? You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it! Stop moping around waiting and hoping for your life to get any better. Get off your ass and do something about it. No one’s promising you a full recovery. Please, get real. Life’s a bitch, always has been, always will be. But that’s my point—you must now be the bigger bitch. Wrestle the bull, and grab it by its horns. The bull will undoubtedly continue to struggle, but at least you’ll be on top of it.

Jyeah! Cyberspace-five!

You didn’t cyberspace-five, did you? Boo you!

I can tell you right now that if you Google “great stories of overcoming adversity”, you’ll come up with amazing feats of Paralympians, able to win gold medals despite their predicament, or children in war-ridden countries, surviving with virtually nothing to their name and not to mention the fear they dwell in every single day. Yes, there are 1000 and one stories on the subject. What’s yours? It might not be as legendary, or as riveting or as heart-felt as those other stories, but who’s to say yours doesn’t matter?

The point is; we all have one.

So losers, Suit Up!

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Sharp Shooter, baby!

2010-05-13T02:14:00.000-07:00

Oscar Jaenada a.k.a Cougar

and yes, I want him to bring his sniper to bed with me.

Muuaahahaha.

Unconditional - that's what it is.

2010-05-08T06:26:00.000-07:00

A mother's job entails that she is not only someone who just so happens to be there whenever you need her, she's so much more than that. She's A LOT more than that...

She's a teacher - Yes, boys and girls...those ABC's and 123's weren't programmed by aliens. Mum was there, singing us that- now incredibly annoying- song. Well, maybe Big Bird did help a bit. But only cool mums tune into Sesame Street with their children every morning. teheee..

As for me, I'm still learning from Mum, especially when I'm cooking/baking. She's always only a phone call away.

She's a doctor - All those nights spent nursing us back to health whenever we fell ill. Ughh, the worst was the chicken pox. How many times did she say "stop scratching!!!"? and how many times did you pretend to sleep in the bedroom, but really, you were scratching your butt off?

She's a law enforcement officer - She keeps us in line, she keeps us from misbehaving in front of visitors. She pulls your top up when it starts to show a bit of cleavage. But, she let's you go out late at night, only if Dad doesn't find out. Or did she tell dad anyway and then said "Honey, don't yell at her, she's a teenager." ;))

She also seems to pop out of nowhere when you start fighting with your siblings. Dang!

She's a best friend - I don't know about you guys, but my Mum's my best friend. She's cool like that, yo! and sometimes, when she says something that I think is so uncool, I love her even more for it because she wants to actually have a conversation with about Bon Jovi or tattoos or boys. Especially boys. I don't know what I'd do if I can't tell my mum whenever I have a fight with a boyfriend or just a guy friend. She makes me feel better, all the time.

For all the tears you wiped away,

For all the blood, sweat and tears sacrificed in the kitchen to provide our family with yummy and healthy food to eat,

For all those nights you spent up, waiting for me to come home,

For being proud of me,

For telling me that you love me,

For being there all the time,

For giving birth to my sisters and brother,

For giving birth to me,

Words cannot express how much I love you , Mama...

Happy Mother's Day.

That's Mum and Dad.

Love!

Mothers say the Darnest things.

2010-05-05T08:10:00.000-07:00

Was in the car with Mum...driving around SP.

Me : (singing along to Jesse McCartney's "Body Language") I don't speak Spanish,

Japanese or French, but the way your body movin' definitely makes sense...lalalalal

Mum : eh...ni la Tokio Hotel kan?

Me : huh...?

Mama, I love you for trying...seriously! teeheee...

I Wanna Do Bad Things with You.

2010-05-04T05:25:00.000-07:00

Yes, that one. The one in black. Black’s always been my colour…and it seems that it’s his too. I can’t even begin to describe how beautiful he looked in leather.

Oh dear God…delicious.

Out of all the words in my diverse vocabulary of English words, that was the only word I could fish out of my now perverted brain. I’m sorry, for those who have virgin ears, you really should stop reading this, unless you want to learn a thing or two, then I suggest you linger a while.

The things I would do to you…the things we could do together.

I thought to myself.

After I spotted him, it took me all of 5 seconds to decide that I was going to take him home. Yes, I was sure of it. No matter the cost, he would be leaving this place in my hands. This was all perfect in my head, but I still had to make sure that he noticed me too. Darn! The most crucial part of any encounter…as the saying goes, it takes two to tango and I needed him in this dance, I wanted him so badly that my legs had to be crossed from shaking so furiously.

His form is perfect, so chiseled, so defined. So dangerously seductive.

I stared straight at him, wondering if he’d notice me, and maybe smiled a bit, that would make everything much easier. I wondered if this was wrong. I walked up to him, slowly yet determined. He has to notice me. He has to know that I crave for his approbation more than a warm blanket on a cold winter’s night. He needed to want me, as much as I wanted him.

Before I knew it, we were literally centimeters away from each other. I had to physically restrain myself from getting my hands all over him. No, we’re going for sexy and mysterious. Not impatient and greedy. Besides, my palms were already sweaty- wouldn’t want to ruin all that leather.

Hey there, you’re new here aren’t you? Haven’t seen you around. I’m glad you’re here tonight. It’s been a rough week. I could use you right about now.

I tried to make it sound as though it was fate. To me, it really was.

He didn’t say much, but the way he offered himself to me, that was enough to convince me. That was enough for me to know that I could have my way with him. I ran my fingers up and down the length of his body. He strapped his rapacious hands on me and I could feel him against my skin. To only touch him, my neck tingled from the pleasure it gave me. My head tilted to the back, as if by reflex and my lips felt so dry that I had to wet them with my tongue. This was heaven at its greatest height. I looked straight at him. My attempt to whisper to him fell short, and it came out more like a demand rather than an offer. But I didn’t care, maybe he liked it that way, maybe being submissive was his thing. He’d been quiet all the while. Who was I to deny that?

Baby, you’re coming with me.

He didn’t let go of me, if anything, he wrapped himself tighter around me. So I took it as a solid “HELL YEAH”. As we made our way back home, I thought to myself…

Dry spell, be gone!

We reached my place and I swung the door open like a mad woman. He understood this, he couldn’t wait to get bare, and I wanted him sprawled on my bedroom floor, helpless, hungry for wear. The apartment was empty, GREAT! Just the way I hoped it'd be. This way, we didn’t have to wait until we were in the bedroom. I didn’t want my girlfriends to see me like this. Not again. This wasn’t my first time, and I’m not proud of it.

I couldn’t wait any longer and I decided to get the ball rolling. I unwrapped him, as I would a gift. I took my time, savouring this moment, second by second. Beads of sweat dripping down my forehead and landing on his body…oh crap, I thought. But he didn’t mind. I could feel him on me, he made me feel like a woman, so sexy, so intense, so incredible.

Oh yes, baby...mmm-hmm..that’s the spot.

As we were intertwined on the living room floor, the worst happened, the front door swung open, and there they were, my girlfriends. It was too late to hide him now. Stupid girl. I cursed myself for not being patient enough to lock myself in the bedroom.

I’m sorry. I didn’t want you guys to find out like this. That was all I could offer them as I promised to never do this again. But I did.

Then, they broke their silence – “ANOTHER PAIR OF LOUBOUTINS? YOU’RE CRAZY, DO YOU KNOW THAT? HOW THE HELL DID YOU PAY FOR THIS? YOU CAN’T EVEN AFFORD THE RENT AND YOU’RE BUYING THOUSAND-DOLLAR SHOES?”

What can I say, girls? It’s a Guilty Pleasure.

Sizzzlinn'

2010-04-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

I swear this woman is BEAUTIFUL!

Oh Khloe...

Struggling Against Time and Tide.

2010-04-29T05:05:00.000-07:00

We were soul mates. But we were soul mates who were not meant to be together.

Maybe in our next lifetime.

If that's so...then maybe in our next lifetime, instead of just saying hello, or asking for my phone number, could you just say Will you be mine?

Or better yet, just ask me to Marry you.

Disclaimer : Read this in another blog, but it was too close to home. ;)

Are my Eyes Square yet?

2010-04-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

Nice.

Insanely hilarious.

Okay.

Mindfuckingly sick.

Can't Wait.

I'm such a geek.

Sole Therapy

2010-04-26T04:56:00.001-07:00

Giuseppe Zanotti for Balmain

Jimmy Choo

Nine West

Herve Leger

Okay, what if I said getting me these shoes would mean saving my life??

No?

Please? ;)

Running through the Monsoon.

2010-04-22T08:25:00.001-07:00

I don't approve of their hairstyles or the fact that their front man, Bill Kaulitz (yes, I Googled them, so sue me, pfffttt!) feels the need to slap on more eyeliner than Adam Lambert does.

But their songs....Oohh, their songs. I really can't help it...

Minat terhadap mereka semakin menjadi-jadi...

Tak boleh jadi ni.

Sorry Seems To Be...

2010-04-21T11:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings from up North!

So I'm home...in Sungai Petani! Jyyeaah! The long awaited holidays have commenced and I am oh-so happy to be home.

Funny thing happened on my way back home, while on the bus this morning.

It was 9.30 in the a.m, that's when I started my journey back home this morning. Normally, I'd immediately plug in my earphones, cover myself up with my sweater and close my eyes, hoping that by the time I wake up, we'd be somewhere in Perak, just to make the hellish journey a bit more endurable. But today, I felt like holding off sleeping for a while just to look at and listen to the people around me. I like to observe people...mostly, I like to stare. I'd like to think that that makes me wise/philosophical/artsy/poetic...or some shit like that. LOL. Anyways, I like to look at people, because most of the time, they can surprise you. True enough, I was surprised.

As I was looking, I noticed a lady sitting just in front of me but a little bit to my right, so I could see her clearly but she couldn't see me staring! (ahah!) The first thing I noticed were her shoes (d'uh!). She had on these amazing pair of old-fashioned, masculine boots, almost like the ones my dad used to buy for me when I was a little girl. She paired them with jeans and a bright blue top. She also wrapped a shawl around her neck. She looked very pretty and proper. Also, by the way she sat, straight up and with her legs crossed, I concluded that she was either a control freak or just stuck up. Which basically is the same thing. Moving on....

As the journey continued, the bus driver chatted away with his friends and they were making noise like nobody's business. Every sentence had a LAHABAU or a LAHANAT or a SIALAN or a BABI, somewhere in it. Now, I was quite used to this having been staying in Malacca for the past 4 years. I knew this was how true blue Malaccans went about their conversations. As I was listening, I looked over to the lady in the boots. She was looking over to the driver, adjusting her sitting position and fidgeting here and there. I could see from the side of her face that her eyebrows were creased, almost like she was upset. I could tell that the conversation made her uncomfortable. To add to it, a sudden gush of wind brought in a strong smell of ciggie smoke from the front of the bus. The driver was smoking away while chit chatting with his buddies. Rokok daun pulak tu.The lady covered her nose and fanned her fingers in front of her face to get rid of the God-awful stench. And then...something weird happened...

As I was looking and listening, a funny/weird/scary thought entered my head. I almost felt like I had to, no wait, I wanted to apologise to her for their behaviour. I have no bloody idea why my brain cooked this up. I had it all in my head, the picture was clear as day. I could clearly see myself walking up to her, and saying "Kak, sorry eh kalau akak mcm tak selesa. Biasala kak..."

What.The.Chuck.

Things got weird-er when I realised that I was giggling to myself at the thought of walking up to a stranger and giving out random apologies on behalf of other strangers.

Kerja gila.

But then again, I wonder...

how would she have reacted?

Happy Holidays, loves!

S.M.

Paved with Good Intentions.

2010-04-18T01:43:00.001-07:00

Oh wow. It has happened again. I'm not surprised, really. I enjoy being royally fucked up the ass. I live for moments like these. Seriously, you should know that I don't have anything better to do with my life. So thank you, I now have something to do during the weekend. ;)

I rocked that intro, didn't I? *high five!*

Now, let's get serious. Jokes aside, something did transpire during the weekend and yes, it hurt me, it broke my heart and I cried like a wuss. But it was all for the better, I think. To illustrate my point, here's what I think of the whole thing and why I think it has its perks.

1. I shall not assume that trust is mutual unless it is said or written somewhere. I'm seriously thinking of drafting up contracts with my friends or future friends. Breach will be punishable by a considerable amount of wealth. Brilliant! If I do say so myself ;)

2. Secrets can be deadly. You shouldn't keep secrets from the people you love/care about because it WILL bite you in the ass. I've done that, you've done that, we've all done that. It's not smart. We learnt that the hard way, didn't we?

3. I realise that certain friendships/relationships are valued differently by different people.

4. Being angry/resentful doesn't help solve anything. But, OMG, it's sooo much fun to be pissed at some people for a while, say some nasty things that you really really really want to say but are too scared because you don't want to insult anyone. Yeah, I was angry and nasty for a good 10 minutes before I broke down into a heap of mush. Way to show 'em, Steph!

5. I am very certain that Facebook is a WMD. I'm just sayin'. Or maybe, it's the Devil. Choose one, they basically exist for the same purpose.

6. I'm not angry. I don't hate you or him. I was upset and disappointed. But I'm okay.

I really am okay.

We will be okay, soon... ;)

Love,

S.M.

So what if it hurts me?

So what if I break down?

Don't care about all the pain in front of me,

Because I just want to be...

Happy.

-Leona Lewis.

If there is anything left...

2010-04-18T00:14:00.000-07:00

You might as well be Blonde.

2010-04-15T06:39:00.000-07:00

A picture really does say a thousand words...

In this case, 1007.

I'm back. Sinners beware.

Right now, I really wish you read blogs.

2010-03-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

This. is.

BULLSHIT.

Why can't I just grab you by the shoulders and tell you to your face...?

That my knees get super weak and I break into a cold sweat every time I see you.

Or that I get goosebumps every time you touch me.

Or that I can't wait to talk to you again after every conversation we have.

That I ignore you every time you're online so that you think I'm not looking. When in truth, I check to see if you're online. And most of the time, you are.

Or that I purposely bring you up in conversations with my friends just so I can talk about how amazing you are.

Or that I hate pretending not to care when you say something really funny, or when you say something really smart or witty. When in truth, I wanna laugh my lungs out.

I hate pretending that I feel nothing. When in truth...

I think I love you.

Country Lovin'

2010-03-12T07:29:00.001-08:00

This hunk of a man is further living proof (as if we need further proof) that married men are soooo irresistible. Aiyaiiyaiii...

Sexy, much?

I'd give up teaching for this, any day.

2010-03-07T07:52:00.000-08:00

The man on the left is Lars Krutak, the one on the right is my Atuk. LOL. (no, he isn't)

You see, Lars is, get this, a Tattoo Anthropologist. Is that cool, or what?

He travels the world in search of traditional tribal tattoos and body scarification. He goes into tribes and places we've never even heard of. Amazing!

You might've seen his show, Tattoo Hunter, on the Discovery Channel. If you haven't, seriously, check it out!

Cool job, yo!

...and then came the sinful truth.

2010-03-07T02:20:00.000-08:00

Please read the previous post before reading this...

That first culprit....yeah, that best friend. The one who grew up with me...

The one who married the ex...yeah, that one.

A formidable source (a mutual friend, who lived with the happy couple for almost a month) has informed me she has a bun in the oven. Quite far along, I might add. For those out of the loop, they've only been married for a week. Taaa daa! Partly the reason why she didn't hold a reception in Sungai Petani, the place she grew up in. Imagine this story spreading there. Oh no, we can't have that now, can we?

I know I'm being a total bitch or sound like a total sore loser for posting this...frankly speaking, I don't care! I deserve to. You've caused me enough suffering. I have closure now. Yes, I'm taking advantage of other people's misery. I'm stooping to her level, aren't I? *gasp*! Whatevs.

Have a good life, bitch!

You've made mine a whole lot better.

Kisses!

Seriously, is your life THAT boring?

2010-03-06T07:20:00.000-08:00

Those close enough to me might already know what this post is about.

Someone once said ( I think it was my sister) it's not wrong that people should care about other people, that's what makes us a society... but there is such a thing as minding your own damn business.

I don't know what's so interesting in my life that people keep on barging in and make it a point to make it their business, or their life for that matter.

Twice this happened to me, TWICE.

The first culprit, well, I know who she is, quite intimately you can say. I grew up with her. Well, I guess I can console myself with the fact that she didn't bag such a priceless miracle from God as a result of it. Yeah, that's what my Mom and my friends say and that's what I tell myself every damn day.

The second idiot, however, I know nothing of. This person may be happy with the fact that he/she got what they wanted. Yes, I did get hurt. Yes, I cried and yes, I haven't fully recovered. Congratufuckinglations.

Dear bastard/whore,

I hate you.

kthanks.

I guess the thing that really bugs me is the fact that those two things that happened were not on my own accord. I didn't choose this. I didn't want this. You are, to me, a distorted image of a Genie in a bottle. You grant wishes, but you twist them to you're own pleasure. You want to be happy, you want to be satisfied and you don't care who gets hurt in the process.

But what I find surprising till this very day, is how fascinating you find my life to be. So interesting, in fact, that you would go out of your way to have a piece of the action. Oh wow, I should say I'm very flattered. Thank you for that realisation. But you know what? If you're so damn bored/lonely, you could've asked to be my friend, I'd probably say yes. Because this is probably what got me into this shit hole in the very first place, I trust people too soon, too easily. Silly me.

I kesian you. Seriously. If this is a form of entertainment you enjoy, I feel sorry for you. I really do. I really feel you might lack love/affection in your life. Who knows, you might have a father who hates you or is never around, or a mother who's sneaking out late at night to see her lover (whoops). Kalau dalam bahasa Ibunda, ni namanya orang yang kurang kasih sayang.

Tidak, saya lebih suka the term "kurang ajar". Kesian, mak bapak tak ajar ye? Haih...

For you, asswipe, I hope you don't have another life you plan to screw up. Because if you do, I have one thing to say. As a result of this twisted hobby of yours,

People get hurt. Good people.

Years and years of friendships are destroyed.

Trust and loyalty are lost.

If you read this, you might say.."OMG, look at her, she hasn't moved on, Hurraah!" Well, I hate to burst your bubble, I have moved on from the grief and the sadness and the regrets. But there is one thing I will not let go off. Ever.

I. Will. Hate. You. Forever.

My promise to you, if ever I find out who you are, I will make your life so painful you'll wish you've never met me. I will torture you, I will not rest until your dignity is in bits and pieces on the ground, under my feet.

I swear to God.

Percutian percuma, ada?

2010-03-05T22:36:00.001-08:00

Kalau hari ni ditakdirkan hujan duit syiling 50 sen, aku turun padang dgn 2 bijik baldi.

Satu untuk tadah duit.

Satu lagi...cover kepala.

That's how broke I am.

Godemmmit!

First.

2010-03-05T02:17:00.000-08:00

Remember when you first saw that someone? You felt the sudden need for a fresh spray of deodorant, all you wanted to do was go up to that person and say hello. And all you wanted in return, at the very least, was a smile. Even when that person wasn't smiling at you, your heart still fluttered. That smile was the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

And then, the rest of the "firsts" followed..

You're first phone conversation...

The first date...

The first time you held hands, uggghh, remember how the hairs on the back of your neck stood up the minute your hands touched? Damn.

Ahh, the first kiss. A surge of excitement ran through you body. That taste, that smell, that feeling...it only happens once. Only the first time.

And then....the first time you said I Love You. And you really meant it. So did the other person. At that moment, you really did love each other. Because the hardest part is saying it for the very first time.

Yup, the first time is the only time that matters. Because after that, it becomes a routine, a must....

"Bye hun, I'm going to work, *smooch*, Love you!"

"Happy Birthday, baby...I love you. *kiss* "

"Good morning, love...*muuuaah*"

...nothing beats the first time.

Nothing.

I Definitely Know What You Did.

2010-03-03T04:11:00.000-08:00

Sweatin' Muh Knickers Off!

2010-03-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

So, unless you've been living in a refrigerator or been in a coma for the past few months, you'd already realise by now, it's pretty darn hot out there.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, we are experiencing summer in Malaysia. I'm talking hawt, hawt, hawt, sizzzllinn' weather! Wooossh! Panas kaw, aayy!

We are already feeling the pinch of the demon that is Global Warming, and we're not handling it so gracefully. With the heat soaring, what do we "smart" people do? We turn on the bloody air-conditioning. Smart, ay? Have we not been told over and over again that emissions from your faithful A/C causes temperatures out there to rise even more? ( I should know, I taught this crap in school). Not to mention our ever so prompt electricity bill. Damn.

So, how now brown cow? Stick to the fan? It just seems to circulate the hot air even more.

Walk around with less clothing? Not possible in school. I'd fail. Only works at home.

Bathe 20826532907 times a day? Kene bayar bil air pulak. Damn. Every which way, we're screwed.

Double damn.

If you're waiting for me to make my point, don't hold your breath. This really is a pointless post.

Oh btw, people! Earth Hour is nigh!!

Saturday, 27th March 2010. 8.30 pm.

Switch off those lights, yo!

60 minutes could save a cute, bouncy, cuddly baby polar bear. awww...

Love you sweaty bum-bums!

S.M

...

2010-02-27T03:58:00.000-08:00

I didn't think I'd feel anything.

Or rather, I told myself I wouldn't feel anything.

I wouldn't allow it...

Wrong.

Dear Lovers.

2010-02-13T22:18:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!
S.M loves you!

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

2010-02-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

GONG XI FA CAI!

HAVE A VERY HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR THIS YEAR OF THE TIGER.

Enough, psycho!

2010-02-10T09:08:00.000-08:00

Examplary.

Sex for my Feet.

2010-02-10T05:59:00.001-08:00

Alexander McQueen Geometric Leather Pumps.

Imagine waltzing to class in these. Aiyaiyaiyai...

Online price : $810

Manolo Blahnik Mancia Heels

Love.

$795

Rene Caovilla Cobra Sandals

Impossible.

$120,000.

I swear I'm Not a sicko.

2010-02-06T10:11:00.000-08:00

Yours? Mine? Ours?

2010-02-04T02:56:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, I'd look at Mom and Dad and I'd tell myself that one day, I would want this for me as well. A family, a sturdy life and a future to look forward to. But of course, before all this could become a reality, I'd have to find the perfect partner. I mean, not PERFECT but perfect for me. One who suits me. One who is for me. Yes, there have been a few in the past. But nothing stuck. I still don't know why.

I want a man who will take good care of me and will let me take good care of him.

I want a man who will respect my father as he does his.

I want a man who'll love my mother as he loves his.

A man who will give me the freedom I deserve but will still give me boundaries. (Girls say they hate boundaries, but really, we love them).

I want a man who has money. Yes, I do. You don't have to be Donald Trump but come on, who wants a deadbeat husband?

I want a man who will let me work if I love my job, and would tell me to quit if I was miserable.

I want a man who has had a good education. Or at the very least, willing to learn.

I want a man who listens AND speaks.

I want a man who hugs and kisses me for no reason.

I want a man who makes my friends his own.

I want a man who gets angry when I do something wrong and lets me get angry when he does something wrong.

I don't want a good looking man who is an asshole.

I don't want a rich man who will not spend money for our families.

I don't want a man who hugs and kisses me only when he's horny.

I don't want a man who thinks I am lesser than he is.

Seems too good to be true, ay? No. Not for me. Because there is a man, somewhere, out there, who wants the same things as I do.

I will not compromise, and neither should you.

Mr. Ishak

2010-01-31T05:55:00.000-08:00

AL-FATIHAH

Yes, it bothers me that there are more obituaries than regular blog posts on my blog.

But YOU are different. I actually knew you and I actually cared.

To Sir with Love,

I'll surely and sorely miss you walking in and out of our classroom.

Registering our subjects because we were too lazy to do it.

Picking up our slack.

For all those times I didn't say it...

Thank You.

It's Almost too Wrong.

2010-01-29T10:05:00.000-08:00

Rolling Stone magazine is so Hawt, celebrities just can't seem to keep their clothes on.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono. Wrong.

The Xtinas.

The Genie who used to be in a bottle and Casper's girlfriend stripped too!

RHCP

Kidman.

Timberlake.

No surprise here.

I'm sorry, your grandma can't come to the phone, she's nekkid.

Bonet.

Casta.

Okay, acceptable.

Excuse me, good sir...Will you be my bra?

Ashton was still a kid when this was taken. Damn.

Crawford. Also acceptable.

oh, Cameron.

Blue Lagoon, much?

Oh no Britney, how could you? LMAO.

Uhm...who are they again?

It's called a gym, boys.

Argento.

Brad, you douche!

American Pie.

I'll give this one a pass.

Yup, even everyone's fav cartoon got defiled.

hey, Bart!

Don't get me wrong, no objections here. Just sharing. :P

S.M

All pictures are property of Rolling Stone magazine.

I have Students...

2010-01-28T08:17:00.000-08:00

Through all the heartache, all the screaming, skipped homework and playing truant...

they somehow come up with something like this, and you can't help but smile.

Sans Titre

2010-01-22T08:36:00.000-08:00

AL-FATIHAH

SULTAN ISKANDAR IBNI ALMARHUM SULTAN ISMAIL

(1932-2010)

The Sultan of Johor Darul Takzim.

May his soul be placed amongst those who are worthy of the grace of Allah. Amin.

You, Sissy!

2010-01-22T01:24:00.000-08:00

Cried.Like.A.Fucking.Baby.

kthanks..

Join the Fun(eral)

2010-01-21T07:00:00.000-08:00

I would like to say something to my students....

something that I can never say to their faces. Ever.

DAMN YOU, LAZY MAFAKAS!!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!!

kthanks..

A weekend of Laughter...

2010-01-16T11:46:00.000-08:00

*while watching a documentary on dinosaurs*

D : Knape Spinosaurus tu name dia spinosaurus? Sebab spine dia ade bende tu eh?

F : Ha'ah, sebab ade bende tu..

D : So, nape Rhinoceros tu name dia rhinoceros? Sebab dia mcm rhino?

F : Huh? (ultimate krik...krik....krik... moment)

D : Ehh! Salah, salah!! Sorry!

Baaahahahahahahahah!!

One Word.

2010-01-15T06:20:00.001-08:00

Yuck.

Brilliant.

Let's not be Stupid.

2010-01-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

I'm no religious scholar, I might not even be a smart enough person to be commenting on this, but like I've always believed; everyone is entitled to their own opinions. They might choose not to say it out loud, post it as a facebook status, blog about it or hold debates on the issue. Nonetheless, everyone has their own take on a certain issue, and here are my thoughts on recent events that have taken place in MY country.

They say it started when the Herald used the word "Allah" in one of their publications. Being Catholics, Muslim scholars believe that they can't use the word "Allah" because it is meant for the Muslims and the religion of Islam.

From The Star, Friday, January 4th.

"It was only proper for other religions to use the word "God" and not "Allah" when referring to their God in respective beliefs, Abdullah said, adding that the use of the word “Allah” shall not be made a public debate that may give the impression as if there is no freedom of religion in the country."

and in the same article...

"On Dec 31, the publication’s editor Father Lawrence Andrew said the weekly was allowed to continue printing its Bahasa Malaysia section with no restriction on the use of the word “Allah” for God."

So, I did some research, (I can be a doofus when it comes to religion, so yeah, research is good!)

Apparently, "Allah" means God in Arabic. So, in the Middle East, the issue of who can and cannot use "Allah" to refer to God, well, has never occurred. Because Arab Christians use "Allah" to refer to God in Arabic bibles.

Exhibit A:

In Arabic :

Qu'ran 1:1 - English translation]

"In the Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful."

[Qur'ân 1:1 - Arabic transliteration]

"Bismi-Allahi ar-Rahmani, ar-Raheem"

[Qur'ân 1:1 - Arabic]

Even I know this, because we learnt it in school.

But I didn't know this, Exhibit B:

[Genesis 1:1 - English Bible - King James Version]

"In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth . . . "

[Genesis 1:1 - Arabic transliteration]

"Fee al-badi' khalaqa Allahu as-Samaawaat wa al-Ard . . . "

[Genesis 1:1 - Arabic Bible]

Still not convinced? Exhibit C:

[Luke 1:30 - English Bible - King James Version]

" . . . Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favor with God."

[Luke 1:30 - Arabic transliteration]

" . . . Laa takhaafee, yaa Maryam, li-annaki qad wajadti ni'amat(an) i'nda Allahi."

[Luke 1:30 - Arabic Bible]

Okay, so...even if I am wrong about this. There is no reason for the whole country to go about it tooth and nail. If the ruling is such that they can't use the word "Allah" in their future publications. Then so be it. The ruling has already been done. There shouldn't be anymore debates, speculations or pointing of fingers on the issue anymore. Let it be.

There is absolutely NO REASON for people to go about burning down churches or protesting anymore. What has been done, has already been done. Let it go, already! If you think that attacking mosques is something that no one should do, then you shouldn't attack churches either. Places of worship are sacred, no matter what the religion is and that is what we have been taught ever since we were children. Especially the religion of Islam. We have been taught to respect others and their respective religions, as per agreed upon in the Medina Charter (Piagam Madinah), drafted by our Prophet Muhammad S.A.W.

If we are trying hard to prove to the world that Islam is not a religion of terror, well, we're kinda failing. So come on, get some brains. Think about it. A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect. The actions of some may lead to the destruction of all.

And that's what I think.

Pleasurable, indeed.

2010-01-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

One of the best albums I've heard in a while... especially coming from an AI alum.

Kudos Lambert!

and don't worry, I'm really okay with the fact that he might be singing the whole album for some random guy instead of a really hot chick. I really am okay with it. Because this is orgasmic, yo!

I could moan to this...ahhhh

Personal favourites:

Whataya Want From Me

Aftermath

Lull.

2009-12-29T22:00:00.000-08:00

I dunno, it's either I'm so goddamn busy that I don't have time to blog...

I just have nothing to blog about. Writer's block, if you may... Haih...lullness.

And another...

2009-12-20T23:12:00.000-08:00

R.I.P

Brittany Murphy

(Nov 10, 1977 - Dec 20, 2009)

Gone too soon.
Little known fact: I envied her for months because she had a quickie with Eminem.
Is that wrong?

Our fav movie makeoveree

is it just me? or are there wayyyy to many R.I.P's for 2009?

Cameron, you did it again!

2009-12-16T22:16:00.000-08:00

Yes!!! I knew James Cameron wouldn't disappoint me..I knew it!!

Verdict : Loved every minute of it (all 3 hours!!). Might as well have been 5 hours, because I want more!! wowowowo!

La Vie en Péché

*Gulp*

Rewind that Cassette.

Close your eyes. Make a wish.

...and the Gravy Thickens.

Swallow This Pill.

24 Candles.

Then and Now.

Wrap it up to go, Please!

Fine.

You're Stephanie and I'm Paulette.

They're just...Gems.

My Man.

Whammy.

Girls Just Wanna...

Sex is in the Air.

Words to Live by.

Coup de Grâce

Comel-ness.

Compare & Contrast.

The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round.

More than you asked for, I bet.

Ink, NOT Mink.

Sigh...

Papa, can you hear me?

Regrets, I've had a few...

*Drumroll*

Stick it where the Sun don't shine.

Everything needs Strategy.

They Rawk Each Other's Sawks Off!

Think before you Shag.

Inevitable, I guess...

Family Business.

For now...this'll do.

All that Glitters...

Eventually...

Not. Cool.

Fear of the Unknown.

Grow a Pair!

We Need a Resolution.

Funny thing.

A Friendly Reminder.

Reel 'em in!

In a Nutshell.

Skeletons.

Imagine.

Snort.Snort.

Quick Question.

I won....again.

Oh, honey...that's not what I said.

Running already, I see...

Truly Diff'rent.

Vini. Vidi. Vici.

Psycho!

Is THAT the Best You've Got?

Sharp Shooter, baby!

Unconditional - that's what it is.

Mothers say the Darnest things.

I Wanna Do Bad Things with You.

Sizzzlinn'

Struggling Against Time and Tide.

Are my Eyes Square yet?

Sole Therapy

Running through the Monsoon.

Sorry Seems To Be...

Paved with Good Intentions.

If there is anything left...

You might as well be Blonde.

Right now, I really wish you read blogs.

Country Lovin'

I'd give up teaching for this, any day.

...and then came the sinful truth.

Seriously, is your life THAT boring?

Percutian percuma, ada?

First.

I Definitely Know What You Did.

Sweatin' Muh Knickers Off!

...

Dear Lovers.

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

Gulp

Drumroll